May 4, 2015
Dear Sagan,
You are three today. I couldn’t be
any more proud. You continue to develop beautifully. It amazes me the amount of
learning that happens in a year. Words have evolved into sentences, tantrums
into verbal communication, and baby features into little boy features.
This year was our first full year not living full time under one roof. Moving out to live some distance from you was the hardest thing I have ever done. At first, I was dreadfully depressed. I felt like a piece of my heart was yanked out. The thought that agonized me was that I had become my Father; the Dad that lived in the city, and you, like me as a child, lived some distance away in a more rural area. I vowed to be there for you. I vowed to never miss my arranged time with you. I vowed to continue supporting you financially. Even though I kept those promises, I felt an emptiness. I’d flood the space with the distractions, but it would always drain. The emptiness was only filled when we were together.
Despite your short time here, you continue to be a great teacher. You adjusted quicker than any of us. No matter
where you were in your development, no matter the days that went by until I picked you up, you always acted as no time had passed, you were always ready
to go, and you always showed me love. Thank you for being my strength and loving me so
much.
As time progressed things became easier. Your mother and I
continued to build our parent and parent relationship. I am grateful of her
care of you. She’s a great person and an incredible mother. I am also grateful your mother and I are
friends, to the point we attend family functions together like Christmas and Easter. The reason we are where we are today is kindness. Demonstrating kindness is not always easy, Sagan, but I
assure you it works better in the long run. Demonstrating kindness is like a strong
constant stream of water. Water alone isn’t much, the occasional drip won’t make
much of a dent; however, you can do almost anything with a strong, consistent, steady stream
of water. Being steadfast in your kindness can be powerful, it can move things,
it can change things, and oh the things you can create. You can even create a
new kind of relationship when one has to end. Our kindness got us here; it has
created the optimal circumstance of your parents getting along.
This year you met someone very close to me. This past year I
continued to get to know Amneris and eventually we became an official couple. I
am glad you got to know her. She was there supporting me through all my
sadness. She grew to care about you, and desired to meet you. On Thanksgiving Day you were able to meet each other. You shared a sweet moment in my cousin’s home where
you played with toys together. Thank you for being such a wonderful boy to
someone that means so much to me.
With Love Your Dad,
Ruben Ortiz Jr.
