Why do I bring this up? For more than ten years I've been involved with a community that has gone from unknown to a very active bunch of individuals giving much of their time and effort helping others who were once part of an organization that held them captive in one sense or another. Some of these individuals sacrifice their time and energy for a cause they really believe in. These acts are wonderful. The lives they help save are so precious. However, this type of activism comes with a price. It comes with a target on your head. A target you would figure came from the organization you're protesting. Sometimes it does, but most of them are too busy avoiding you. Your biggest critics tend to be those you're trying to assist.
Here is where the statement I started with comes in play. A common occurrence is a type of online mob mentality that overcomes individuals whose heart is in the right place but fail to consider that a story given by one person about their strife and complaints about another is just one angle, one story. Instead of listening with empathy (which you can always do), a retaliation for that person you hold dear takes place, without even knowing the whole story, without even being part of what had occurred. I have to admit, I used to get sucked into these type of debacles. When attacked online by others I would jump into my own defense. I would defend myself by giving my side. It was like adding fuel to a fire. Publicly engaging in such fights was me trying to clear my name, and of course, it's only human nature to want to do so especially if your name is being publicly slandered.
I no longer am so easily sucked into those types of situations (not saying it never happens). I do my best to avoid them like the plague. I've seen my name smeared. I've been talked down about. I’ve been called all kinds of ugly things. However, my online activities have been so much more peaceful ever since I have consciously made the effort to resolve matters in private, or just plain ignore them, rather than make public retribution. My actions will say more about me than anything. And if you are in this to help others, then why waste your time with those that have no clue what really happened or take the time to learn why you do things the way you do? With time it all comes out. I can't tell you how many times just waiting and taking care of my own business has made haters into pals. Your actions will scream your motives. If your motive is to be a helper than you keep pushing forward and you continue to help. If your manner of helping is not satisfying to someone else, then you give them space to do better.
The important thing is not to be the best, the important thing is to give your best. Use what you know works and if someone can find a better way then you support it. If you don't agree with someone, how about just going your own way? How about being candid with others and agreeing that the best thing for everyone in your community is to act in a kind manner and not take actions that will create mobs of one side vs another? Being a helper is important work and I know everyone has benefited from all the helpers out there. One helper may not be helping in a way you agree with or do not understand, but I guarantee you another one is. I would rather see them go somewhere else for assistance then to see them point a finger and say, "They were right about those people."
We're in this together. My plea is: Before taking sides think about the greater good. Before calling out people publicly ask, "Is it worth it?"
