The holiday season is at its close. Now when we go shopping, we will once again be listening to the music we are all used to hearing throughout the year. We can take a break from the bombardment of Holiday music. These songs are successful in inciting our emotions in one way or another. I am especially susceptible to one particular song: Jingle Bell Rock.
It was 1986 and I was in the fifth grade. The school had a holiday concert bash planned and each classroom in the school was going to perform a song. As a Jehovah’s Witness kid I was not allowed to participate. Up to that point I never felt I was missing out on celebrating the holidays. Unlike many other kids I knew that were in my situation, I could easily explain to you why I did not. I was the type of Jehovah’s Witness kid that would carry his Bible to school so that I could explain to my teacher why I could not salute the flag, “If you see here in Deuteronomy 4:15-20…” The Christmas explanation was a breeze. I had a lot of love in my house, from my mother and my siblings. Holidays or not I was a happy kid.
The day of the concert came and since I was not going to participate I was left with some activities to complete in the classroom. Our classroom was on the third floor of the school. Out of curiosity I walked over to the window and saw the set up they had on the playground. Then the singing began. I continued to watch and realized that I was the only person in the whole building. Everyone was outside. Once all the grades sang their songs, they all sang Jingle Bell Rock together. I loved the song! Listening to everyone sing it together was inspiring. That’s when I felt it. The one time in my whole childhood I felt I was missing out on the holidays was when I heard all those kids happily singing Jingle Bell Rock as I sat there alone.
When I hear Jingle Bell Rock today I am mentally transported to that moment to that feeling of being left out on what was just good clean fun because of a judgmental point of view that was inculcated by my church. At that one moment, I knew. It would not be until many years later that what I knew would be clear to me. Jingle Bell Rock reminds me of what the holidays are about, a celebration, a time for fun, and a time of giving. There is nothing wrong with choosing an occasion to share joy with others and there is no need to exclude yourself from it just because you disagree on the origins of such a celebration. Whether it was Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or any other good old fashioned winter solstice celebration, I hope you enjoyed yours.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Top 25 things I learned from watching Paranormal Activity (2007)
I saw Paranormal Activity (2007) for the first time a few days ago. I would like to share the top 25 things I learned while watching this movie.
25. Demons are invisible.
24. Demons bite – never knew that!
23. Micah has ugly feet.
22. “I trust you as far as I can throw you,” does not apply to demons.
21. Having a demon is like having a new born baby.
20. Demons close the door on your face just to knock on the outside.
19. Demons can be sensitive; they keep pictures from your childhood.
18. Demons live in the attic.
17. “I’m going to fucking solve the problem,” is a rational response to demons in your home.
16. Demons leave footprints, which is a good thing for demon hunters.
15. Micah is the worst boyfriend…EVER!
14. Demons will play and burn Ouija when you’re not around.
13. I didn’t buy it! I borrowed it! That is showing her!
12. If you talk in your sleep “I wouldn’t call it talking.”
11. Demons want to watch TV but each time they try they get static.
10. Even if you KNOW you have a demon, say “Who’s there?” every time.
9. Your concern for your camera comes first above all else, including your girlfriend.
8. Do whatever a condescending prick will tell you.
7. Demons like to leave keys on the middle of the floor.
6. Demons will make you stare at things.
5. Demons only come out at night, apparently they can’t handle sunlight.
4. “What is your quest? What is your favorite color?” These are acceptable questions to ask a demon.
3. Dump your girlfriend if she has a stalker demon.
2. Demons have nothing better to do.
1. Demons hate cameras more than the Amish do.
What a piece of shit movie!
25. Demons are invisible.
24. Demons bite – never knew that!
23. Micah has ugly feet.
22. “I trust you as far as I can throw you,” does not apply to demons.
21. Having a demon is like having a new born baby.
20. Demons close the door on your face just to knock on the outside.
19. Demons can be sensitive; they keep pictures from your childhood.
18. Demons live in the attic.
17. “I’m going to fucking solve the problem,” is a rational response to demons in your home.
16. Demons leave footprints, which is a good thing for demon hunters.
15. Micah is the worst boyfriend…EVER!
14. Demons will play and burn Ouija when you’re not around.
13. I didn’t buy it! I borrowed it! That is showing her!
12. If you talk in your sleep “I wouldn’t call it talking.”
11. Demons want to watch TV but each time they try they get static.
10. Even if you KNOW you have a demon, say “Who’s there?” every time.
9. Your concern for your camera comes first above all else, including your girlfriend.
8. Do whatever a condescending prick will tell you.
7. Demons like to leave keys on the middle of the floor.
6. Demons will make you stare at things.
5. Demons only come out at night, apparently they can’t handle sunlight.
4. “What is your quest? What is your favorite color?” These are acceptable questions to ask a demon.
3. Dump your girlfriend if she has a stalker demon.
2. Demons have nothing better to do.
1. Demons hate cameras more than the Amish do.
What a piece of shit movie!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
An Anti-Theist I Am Not
Do I disagree with theism? Yes. Do I oppose it? Usually. Do I consider myself an anti-theist? No. An anti-theist I am not.
"Anti-theism is active and vocal opposition to belief in gods of any sort and to institutions built around belief in a deity. Anti-theists are not passive atheists; they delight in atheism and delight in exposing the errors, absurdities, and pretensions of theists."
http://www.skepdic.com/antitheism.html
This seems to summarize how anti-theism is generally defined.
Theism is a very broad term covering countless interpretations of God, being an anti-theist would place me in opposition to belief in gods of "any" sort, which I am not. The vaguer the definition of God a person gives and the less certain a person is with their belief, the less against it I find myself to be. To one person God may be the first cause, to another person the universe or nature, to another person it can be some unknown. Why would I have a problem with people investing belief in the concept when presented as such especially when they claim no certainty to it? What real harm could come from that? I may think it is a waste of time and a belief not worth investing in but against it? No.
Theism becomes a problem when individuals and organized religion clearly define what their God is, when they pretend to know what their God wants, and when the belief in God supersedes the verifiable. Once they do this they leave their God open to a bombardment of reasoning which renders their God impossible. The devil is in the details; the arch nemesis of theism. This is the type of theism I am against.
I am an atheist and I am not against theism in its entirety. I may express anti-theistic sentiments to particular gods and institutions; nevertheless, an anti-theist I am not.
"Anti-theism is active and vocal opposition to belief in gods of any sort and to institutions built around belief in a deity. Anti-theists are not passive atheists; they delight in atheism and delight in exposing the errors, absurdities, and pretensions of theists."
http://www.skepdic.com/antitheism.html
This seems to summarize how anti-theism is generally defined.
Theism is a very broad term covering countless interpretations of God, being an anti-theist would place me in opposition to belief in gods of "any" sort, which I am not. The vaguer the definition of God a person gives and the less certain a person is with their belief, the less against it I find myself to be. To one person God may be the first cause, to another person the universe or nature, to another person it can be some unknown. Why would I have a problem with people investing belief in the concept when presented as such especially when they claim no certainty to it? What real harm could come from that? I may think it is a waste of time and a belief not worth investing in but against it? No.
Theism becomes a problem when individuals and organized religion clearly define what their God is, when they pretend to know what their God wants, and when the belief in God supersedes the verifiable. Once they do this they leave their God open to a bombardment of reasoning which renders their God impossible. The devil is in the details; the arch nemesis of theism. This is the type of theism I am against.
I am an atheist and I am not against theism in its entirety. I may express anti-theistic sentiments to particular gods and institutions; nevertheless, an anti-theist I am not.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Light
There is a light you cannot see.
A blinding light called clarity.
And if you choose to close your eyes,
there comes a voice "You will die."
The light is might.
It's never wrong.
It's always right.
It sings the same songs
of triumph over all.
With all the answers to life,
united in a fictitious paradise.
This life I lived in a blinding light.
I turned it off to save my sight.
A blinding light called clarity.
And if you choose to close your eyes,
there comes a voice "You will die."
The light is might.
It's never wrong.
It's always right.
It sings the same songs
of triumph over all.
With all the answers to life,
united in a fictitious paradise.
This life I lived in a blinding light.
I turned it off to save my sight.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The Devil–all he ever wanted
It is recorded that the devil inflicted pain on to one man and killed ten members of his family with God's consent in order to prove that men only worshipped God because he bribed them. Not only did God put this man through a guilt trip when it seemed the devil’s plan was working, he later rewarded his faithfulness with a bribe, which only reinforced the devil’s initial accusation.
In another story a snake, which many believers teach was the devil in disguise, convinced a human to disobey God. He told the newly created human that if she disobeyed the stipulation their creator gave them, she would be like God, knowing the good and bad. She went along with it and some time later convinced her husband to disobey God's petty order as well. When God realized what happened, he became infuriated and the three of them were scolded and condemned.
All the devil really wanted was to be like his dad, to have what he had, without holding out and without the hypocrisy. But alas, to be like God is evil. It is so vile that you are banished and branded a traitor, an adversary. What does that tell you about Yahweh's character? If he is so great, how could the one angel that most resembles him be so terrible?
The devil exposed a tyrant who relied on bribes and coercion for others to love him. The devil encouraged others to use their free will. The devil is the hero of these stories.
You don’t like the spin I gave these stories? Too bad, what I did is not much different than what most people do with these allegorical stories anyway. A good sense of humour and imagination goes a long way.
Amen. :)-
In another story a snake, which many believers teach was the devil in disguise, convinced a human to disobey God. He told the newly created human that if she disobeyed the stipulation their creator gave them, she would be like God, knowing the good and bad. She went along with it and some time later convinced her husband to disobey God's petty order as well. When God realized what happened, he became infuriated and the three of them were scolded and condemned.
All the devil really wanted was to be like his dad, to have what he had, without holding out and without the hypocrisy. But alas, to be like God is evil. It is so vile that you are banished and branded a traitor, an adversary. What does that tell you about Yahweh's character? If he is so great, how could the one angel that most resembles him be so terrible?
The devil exposed a tyrant who relied on bribes and coercion for others to love him. The devil encouraged others to use their free will. The devil is the hero of these stories.
You don’t like the spin I gave these stories? Too bad, what I did is not much different than what most people do with these allegorical stories anyway. A good sense of humour and imagination goes a long way.
Amen. :)-
Monday, October 25, 2010
Who gives a fuck? Why help Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses?
Since 2006 I have spent a considerable amount of time helping persons that have left the Jehovah's Witness organization find support. It all started with a group on MySpace called "Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery Group." Many of my closest friends today I met through that group, including my wife Emily. There have been three incarnations of that group due to the fact the first one was taken off from MySpace, and the second was abandoned for the third on Facebook. I also started a YouTube page called "Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Speak Out," where I post short segments of conversations I have with Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses when my wife and I meet them at different venues. We are not as involved in these activities as much as we were in the past, but we continue to do what we can.
Believe it or not, many of us who do this have been criticized for spending our time helping others with their transition out of this high control group. I have received comments such as "Who gives a fuck?" "Why don't you just let it go?" "Why can't you respect their Religion?" So on and so forth. For all those that think it’s a waste of time to open your heart to persons that genuinely need a friend. For all those who feel it is not helpful to confide in a person that has been in your particular position. Please take a minute to read the following message addressed to my wife Emily by someone we care about very much.
“Have I ever told you how special you are to me Emily? In case I haven't...Let me explain…sweetie…
When I first discovered facebook and the exjw groups, I pretty much opened up about all the pain of my moms rejection of me after I disassociated myself…yada…yada...yada…I was really depressed...borderline suicidal, which I go through at least once a year or so.
I did not know you from Adam, and sweetie…and you picked up on it INSTANTLY....you invited me to not only come to your house...but you even offered to pick me up at the station, and said I could spend the night. My goodness Emily I coulda been a serial killer.
You just went on your vibe and were so open to me…I'll love you forever because of that sweetie!
I used to associate that kind of generosity of spirit, and selfless loving concern (EXCLUSIVELY) with the JWs!!
I seriously thought that no non JW would ever be so loving and open and generous without expecting something in return!
I know better now hon…
I thought that my exjw childhood girlfriends were sweet to me because they had known me forever! But Emily you and Ruben had never ever met me...not even on the phone!
Just want you to know that hon...
People like you make believers out of me. The kind of belief I value and cherish…the selfless goodness that comes from living a bullshit free life!”
Need I say more?
Believe it or not, many of us who do this have been criticized for spending our time helping others with their transition out of this high control group. I have received comments such as "Who gives a fuck?" "Why don't you just let it go?" "Why can't you respect their Religion?" So on and so forth. For all those that think it’s a waste of time to open your heart to persons that genuinely need a friend. For all those who feel it is not helpful to confide in a person that has been in your particular position. Please take a minute to read the following message addressed to my wife Emily by someone we care about very much.
“Have I ever told you how special you are to me Emily? In case I haven't...Let me explain…sweetie…
When I first discovered facebook and the exjw groups, I pretty much opened up about all the pain of my moms rejection of me after I disassociated myself…yada…yada...yada…I was really depressed...borderline suicidal, which I go through at least once a year or so.
I did not know you from Adam, and sweetie…and you picked up on it INSTANTLY....you invited me to not only come to your house...but you even offered to pick me up at the station, and said I could spend the night. My goodness Emily I coulda been a serial killer.
You just went on your vibe and were so open to me…I'll love you forever because of that sweetie!
I used to associate that kind of generosity of spirit, and selfless loving concern (EXCLUSIVELY) with the JWs!!
I seriously thought that no non JW would ever be so loving and open and generous without expecting something in return!
I know better now hon…
I thought that my exjw childhood girlfriends were sweet to me because they had known me forever! But Emily you and Ruben had never ever met me...not even on the phone!
Just want you to know that hon...
People like you make believers out of me. The kind of belief I value and cherish…the selfless goodness that comes from living a bullshit free life!”
Need I say more?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Letter to my Ex-Wife
I found my first ex-wife on Facebook and sent her a message. It was something I wanted to tell her for some time but wasn't able to since we lost all touch over five years ago. This was my message to her. It was written in Spanish and I have translated it for this blog.
Hello ____:
I am not going to send you a “friend request” nor do I expect a response. I just wanted to send you this message. I am not the same person I was, I have the same heart, but I am not the same. I have matured and recognized many things about myself and events in my life. The past is the past, and in regards to our broken marriage I recognize the errors I committed as well. Our reasons for getting married were invalid. I should’ve realized it was a bad idea to marry you from the start and not let myself be swayed by my desperation of getting married. There were many signs indicating that it was a bad idea, and because of a combination of hormones, culpability, and obligation I ignored them. I apologize; I was young and ignorant of many things. I am not excusing the way you treated me, the things you did and said hurt, it was not necessary to go about it in such a manner. However, looking back I understand your desperation and I recognize that you were young (very young) and ignorant in regards to many things as well. Not everything is black and white ____, I no longer see the world that way. I want you to know that I have no bad sentiment, nor resentment for what happened. As they say in English “We didn’t know any better.”
I live in Connecticut, not too far from my family. I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with them that I didn’t have before. I also have found love. My wife and I love each other very much and she is my best friend. I am so very happy. Your tenacity started a chain reaction that ultimately brought me to where I am today. For that a thousand thanks.
Well if you desire my door is always open to you, if you would like to say hello, I am here, if not “no problem!” As I stated in the beginning, I don’t expect a response. I hope you are happy and I desire the best for your beautiful daughter that I see on your profile picture and for David if you are still together.
Ruben Ortiz
Hello ____:
I am not going to send you a “friend request” nor do I expect a response. I just wanted to send you this message. I am not the same person I was, I have the same heart, but I am not the same. I have matured and recognized many things about myself and events in my life. The past is the past, and in regards to our broken marriage I recognize the errors I committed as well. Our reasons for getting married were invalid. I should’ve realized it was a bad idea to marry you from the start and not let myself be swayed by my desperation of getting married. There were many signs indicating that it was a bad idea, and because of a combination of hormones, culpability, and obligation I ignored them. I apologize; I was young and ignorant of many things. I am not excusing the way you treated me, the things you did and said hurt, it was not necessary to go about it in such a manner. However, looking back I understand your desperation and I recognize that you were young (very young) and ignorant in regards to many things as well. Not everything is black and white ____, I no longer see the world that way. I want you to know that I have no bad sentiment, nor resentment for what happened. As they say in English “We didn’t know any better.”
I live in Connecticut, not too far from my family. I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with them that I didn’t have before. I also have found love. My wife and I love each other very much and she is my best friend. I am so very happy. Your tenacity started a chain reaction that ultimately brought me to where I am today. For that a thousand thanks.
Well if you desire my door is always open to you, if you would like to say hello, I am here, if not “no problem!” As I stated in the beginning, I don’t expect a response. I hope you are happy and I desire the best for your beautiful daughter that I see on your profile picture and for David if you are still together.
Ruben Ortiz
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Creator
Old paradigms have been destroyed.
Freedom is now spoken and no longer just heard.
Slowly breathing the air around me, and no longer inhaling the poison from deluded carbon based machines.
Reality becomes tangible, flexible, and not built on steps going up nowhere.
True magic exists.
Life is a canvas, and the universe is the paint. We are the artists ready to create.
I am ready. I am human and I am God.
Ruben Ortiz
10/31/08
Freedom is now spoken and no longer just heard.
Slowly breathing the air around me, and no longer inhaling the poison from deluded carbon based machines.
Reality becomes tangible, flexible, and not built on steps going up nowhere.
True magic exists.
Life is a canvas, and the universe is the paint. We are the artists ready to create.
I am ready. I am human and I am God.
Ruben Ortiz
10/31/08
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
My Son
This is the image of a poem my father wrote for me about 26 years ago. I was 8 years old and hadn't seen him in 4 years. In my blog "Julio Iglesias is not my Father." I explain the circumstances. This is what he wrote, translated to Enlgish:
My Son
It was six in the afternoon.
I just got off work.
All of a sudden my soul felt the impulse to leave go to a house not too far away.
An hour passed, the clock marked seven.
“Who is it?” Asked Jose, “It’s me Ruben.”
What a surprise, ask my wife, at this moment we thought of you.
I spoke to the one who was your woman and she told me that your son you could see.
I anxiously waited for the arrival of a piece of my heart.
The minutes passed and I grew desperate.
Come up gang, the lady has arrived and she has brought you a gift.
Let’s go up the stairs, as released children in search of a present.
I continued to wait anxiously for my boy’s arrival
He came around the corner desperately and stood by my side
He reached to me with his arms wide open
That got me emotional.
Daddy he said and with great strength he gave me a big squeeze and a kiss as big as his heart. I saw him a second time.
Daddy! He greeted me with great emotion and with a big kiss and hug.
Showing me that he loved me and how genuine his love was.
We said goodbye and my soul was left with a ray of hope.
I thought of the future and his great love.
I thought of his Mother, a woman of great valor who gave me a lovely male child.
Who I love with the bottom of my heart
Who despite his age gave me his love.
I just got off work.
All of a sudden my soul felt the impulse to leave go to a house not too far away.
An hour passed, the clock marked seven.
“Who is it?” Asked Jose, “It’s me Ruben.”
What a surprise, ask my wife, at this moment we thought of you.
I spoke to the one who was your woman and she told me that your son you could see.
I anxiously waited for the arrival of a piece of my heart.
The minutes passed and I grew desperate.
Come up gang, the lady has arrived and she has brought you a gift.
Let’s go up the stairs, as released children in search of a present.
I continued to wait anxiously for my boy’s arrival
He came around the corner desperately and stood by my side
He reached to me with his arms wide open
That got me emotional.
Daddy he said and with great strength he gave me a big squeeze and a kiss as big as his heart. I saw him a second time.
Daddy! He greeted me with great emotion and with a big kiss and hug.
Showing me that he loved me and how genuine his love was.
We said goodbye and my soul was left with a ray of hope.
I thought of the future and his great love.
I thought of his Mother, a woman of great valor who gave me a lovely male child.
Who I love with the bottom of my heart
Who despite his age gave me his love.
I consider this one of my most valued possessions.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
We did it our way
Emily Elliott and I are now married. We didn't and don't need rings, some big ceremony, some formal party that would have cost us a fortune, nor does she have to adopt a name that isn’t hers. We decided to go about our marriage and celebration of such agreement, our way.
We were married on May 20, 2010, Thursday afternoon. A day like any other. We went to the courthouse and asked them to sign the certificate we had sitting in our kitchen for a few months. A justice of peace, dressed in very informal clothes married us. He performed a ring-less ceremony that took about 5-10 minutes. We held hands said our vows and then the certificate was signed. We headed out with Sean and Heather and celebrated with a drink at the bar. We called it a day.
Our original plan was to surprise our guests and be married at the “Best House Party Ever.” But we didn’t realize the marriage certificate would expire by then if we did this. So we decided to make it a surprise coming out we are married party. On Saturday June 12, 2010 we shared with all our friends the news of our marriage via the party and facebook. It was a blast, and we were touched that so many came from far to spend the day with us; loved ones came from California, Washington D.C., New York City, and Massachusetts. We were also grateful for all the phone calls, emails, and facebook messages from those who could not make it. It meant a lot to us.
It was so great to have shared such moments with people that genuinely care and love you. It was overwhelming and humbling. Emily’s grandmother, great-aunt, and great-uncle were so much help, the guests wouldn't have had the selection they did if it wasn't for them. Our friend Sean, as always, was a lifesaver. Juan didn't need the title "best man" he is my best man, he was such a huge help and the celebration wouldn't have been the same without him. My sister Maggie insisted there be cake, and some tradition seeped in into our non-traditional celebration. It was so worth it. A beautiful impromptu moment of song and speeches came from it; which my nephew and niece Tito and Jasmin deserve a special shout out, for helping with the recording and initiation of the special moment. We loved Carmen's beautiful song and are forever grateful for that wonderful gift. And a very special thanks to the other woman in my life, for always being there for me, pushing me, and making me cry. ;) Thanks Lisa.
I would like to thank everyone who was there, from family to old freinds to new friends. I would also like to thank all of you who shared kind words. We love you and appreciate you all very much. Thank you for sharing your beauty, and allowing us to share ours with you.
We were married on May 20, 2010, Thursday afternoon. A day like any other. We went to the courthouse and asked them to sign the certificate we had sitting in our kitchen for a few months. A justice of peace, dressed in very informal clothes married us. He performed a ring-less ceremony that took about 5-10 minutes. We held hands said our vows and then the certificate was signed. We headed out with Sean and Heather and celebrated with a drink at the bar. We called it a day.
Our original plan was to surprise our guests and be married at the “Best House Party Ever.” But we didn’t realize the marriage certificate would expire by then if we did this. So we decided to make it a surprise coming out we are married party. On Saturday June 12, 2010 we shared with all our friends the news of our marriage via the party and facebook. It was a blast, and we were touched that so many came from far to spend the day with us; loved ones came from California, Washington D.C., New York City, and Massachusetts. We were also grateful for all the phone calls, emails, and facebook messages from those who could not make it. It meant a lot to us.
It was so great to have shared such moments with people that genuinely care and love you. It was overwhelming and humbling. Emily’s grandmother, great-aunt, and great-uncle were so much help, the guests wouldn't have had the selection they did if it wasn't for them. Our friend Sean, as always, was a lifesaver. Juan didn't need the title "best man" he is my best man, he was such a huge help and the celebration wouldn't have been the same without him. My sister Maggie insisted there be cake, and some tradition seeped in into our non-traditional celebration. It was so worth it. A beautiful impromptu moment of song and speeches came from it; which my nephew and niece Tito and Jasmin deserve a special shout out, for helping with the recording and initiation of the special moment. We loved Carmen's beautiful song and are forever grateful for that wonderful gift. And a very special thanks to the other woman in my life, for always being there for me, pushing me, and making me cry. ;) Thanks Lisa.
I would like to thank everyone who was there, from family to old freinds to new friends. I would also like to thank all of you who shared kind words. We love you and appreciate you all very much. Thank you for sharing your beauty, and allowing us to share ours with you.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Intolerance in Disguise
I am a former member of the Jehovah’s Witnesses; one that has disassociated himself from their organization. For those of you who don’t know what this implies, I will explain it to you in simple terms. I excommunicated myself. Jehovah’s Witnesses are not allowed to speak to me, not even to say “hello”. Those that shun ex-members, are under the impression they are helping the excommunicated person and pleasing God. I am discriminated against for contradicting this organization’s Religious beliefs by persons of that Religion and I have learned to deal with it. I know many of them are misguided, and some are just plain hypocrites but I know where I stand with them and why. Most of them will not hesitate to express their stance. There is no mystery to their bigotry; it’s out in the open. They even have a special name for me “Apostate”.
I am dealing with a new kind of intolerance as of late; intolerance in disguise. Let me share a few examples that will give you a better idea of what I’m talking about.
Here is a message I received on facebook:
“Ruben you know I love you very much, you are like a big brother to me. I would never cause any harm to you but I can no longer be your friend on facebook. It saddens me to see your videos, blogs, and statements. you have so much anger and i honestly dont know why or understand it. I really dont pay much attention to what you post about Jehovah and his organization, but now I feel like I am contributing to you bashing Jehovah. Correction: Not contributing but agreeing with you. Please understand. I do love you and will always love you.”
This is not from an active Jehovah’s Witness. I’ve known this person for more than eighteen years. This person has been excommunicated by this organization as long as I have. You might think this person is the same as those Jehovah’s Witnesses that do it because they feel they are pleasing their God. Maybe, except there is one big difference between this person and many of those misguided Jehovah’s Witnesses. You are what you do and this person does what a Jehovah’s Witness doesn’t, this person may believe in “Jehovah God” but they are not a Jehovah’s Witness. If this person feels that it is God’s organization maybe they should be more preoccupied with getting back in before judging the intentions of another. Read that message carefully “you have so much anger” really? Why would my “sibling” think I was angry? I’m confused, I didn’t write anything out of anger. Oh wait a minute! I think this issue is clarified for me in that same message: “I really dont pay much attention to what you post about Jehovah and his organization”. This person says they “love me” and yet accuse me of being angry when they haven’t even taken the time to read what I posted.
One might say Oh but this person is being nice and said they can’t be your friend on facebook. This was written to me nine months ago. Have I heard from this friend? Received one call from this friend? No. And quite frankly, I have no desire to continue reaching out to a person that ignored my initial, sincere reply to that message.
I have had many encounters with persons that do not like my take on Religion, “God”, politics, and other subjects. I’ve had people say very negative things about me behind my back simply because I spoke against ideas they hold dear, or expressed my disagreement with their live and let live attitude. Narrow-mindedness is not limited to the Religious. In one case, a fellow non-believer cast me off his friend list because I agreed with someone else that a particular Religious group was more secular than most. No warning just took me off and no longer communicates with me.
What’s my point? You don’t have to hide your intolerance just come out and say it, be honest, I can accept that. You have every right not to like what I say. You don’t have to be my friend. Just don’t tell me you love me then turn around and ignore me. Just say what you mean. I’d rather hear that then to have to deal with nonsense. You may say I am intolerant to certain ideas. Yes, that is true. I don’t respect certain ideas, I don’t respect certain beliefs, and if asked I will be honest and straight up about it. That doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a person, be your friend, or even love you. If your intolerance to my ideas hinders your ability to be a friend, to care for me as a person, I rather you take a hike from my life. I don’t need that kind of bullshit.
I am dealing with a new kind of intolerance as of late; intolerance in disguise. Let me share a few examples that will give you a better idea of what I’m talking about.
Here is a message I received on facebook:
“Ruben you know I love you very much, you are like a big brother to me. I would never cause any harm to you but I can no longer be your friend on facebook. It saddens me to see your videos, blogs, and statements. you have so much anger and i honestly dont know why or understand it. I really dont pay much attention to what you post about Jehovah and his organization, but now I feel like I am contributing to you bashing Jehovah. Correction: Not contributing but agreeing with you. Please understand. I do love you and will always love you.”
This is not from an active Jehovah’s Witness. I’ve known this person for more than eighteen years. This person has been excommunicated by this organization as long as I have. You might think this person is the same as those Jehovah’s Witnesses that do it because they feel they are pleasing their God. Maybe, except there is one big difference between this person and many of those misguided Jehovah’s Witnesses. You are what you do and this person does what a Jehovah’s Witness doesn’t, this person may believe in “Jehovah God” but they are not a Jehovah’s Witness. If this person feels that it is God’s organization maybe they should be more preoccupied with getting back in before judging the intentions of another. Read that message carefully “you have so much anger” really? Why would my “sibling” think I was angry? I’m confused, I didn’t write anything out of anger. Oh wait a minute! I think this issue is clarified for me in that same message: “I really dont pay much attention to what you post about Jehovah and his organization”. This person says they “love me” and yet accuse me of being angry when they haven’t even taken the time to read what I posted.
One might say Oh but this person is being nice and said they can’t be your friend on facebook. This was written to me nine months ago. Have I heard from this friend? Received one call from this friend? No. And quite frankly, I have no desire to continue reaching out to a person that ignored my initial, sincere reply to that message.
I have had many encounters with persons that do not like my take on Religion, “God”, politics, and other subjects. I’ve had people say very negative things about me behind my back simply because I spoke against ideas they hold dear, or expressed my disagreement with their live and let live attitude. Narrow-mindedness is not limited to the Religious. In one case, a fellow non-believer cast me off his friend list because I agreed with someone else that a particular Religious group was more secular than most. No warning just took me off and no longer communicates with me.
What’s my point? You don’t have to hide your intolerance just come out and say it, be honest, I can accept that. You have every right not to like what I say. You don’t have to be my friend. Just don’t tell me you love me then turn around and ignore me. Just say what you mean. I’d rather hear that then to have to deal with nonsense. You may say I am intolerant to certain ideas. Yes, that is true. I don’t respect certain ideas, I don’t respect certain beliefs, and if asked I will be honest and straight up about it. That doesn’t mean I can’t respect you as a person, be your friend, or even love you. If your intolerance to my ideas hinders your ability to be a friend, to care for me as a person, I rather you take a hike from my life. I don’t need that kind of bullshit.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Just saw Iron Man 2
The best part about watching Iron Man 2 on the big screen was the fact that I got to see the trailer for The Last Airbender, seriously. For me, what made it an almost enjoyable flick was the reprisal of Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man. In an almost way too convincing fashion, he plays the almost godly Stark. His performance, as the narcissistic hero you love to love, almost helped me forget the weak story line. Almost.
This movie is brain candy. The story had more holes in it than a blow up doll. How did Ivan Vanko know Tony Stark was going to be at that race? Why become one of the mechanics at the race track and begin to chop cars? How could he have known that Tony would drive if Tony decided to drive on an impulse? Vanko wants to make the “god” bleed, succeeds, and yet once he supposedly accomplished what he set out to do, he goes and tries to kill him with an army of drones and a hijacked Iron Man suit and then his own suit? What is this a video game? Grrrr! These things get to me and I have to ask myself, did anyone else notice that? Those are just a few examples off the top of my head.What an anti-climatic battle scene between Iron Man, War Machine, and Vanko! That was dissappointing. Another thing, with all the spectacular special effects they couldn’t get a better costume for Samuel L Jackson than the ridiculous one he wears as Fury? It looks like they stole it off the set of a Syfy channel series. And one more gripe: Okay we get it Stan Lee made the fucking characters, we can stop the game of “Where’s Stan Lee?” already.
I know, I know, this is a movie and there are rules moviegoers play by, such as you suspend reality and enjoy. Yes, you can find all kinds of holes in any movie if you look hard enough, especially in a comic based one. I just don’t want them in my face. Look at the first Iron Man and The Dark Knight released around the same time, the stories were more cohesive, they had great writing! I could invest in those stories, but not this one. I only invested in Downey as Stark, that’s why the best I could give it is an “okay.” Dare I say it, I was almost bored.
This movie is brain candy. The story had more holes in it than a blow up doll. How did Ivan Vanko know Tony Stark was going to be at that race? Why become one of the mechanics at the race track and begin to chop cars? How could he have known that Tony would drive if Tony decided to drive on an impulse? Vanko wants to make the “god” bleed, succeeds, and yet once he supposedly accomplished what he set out to do, he goes and tries to kill him with an army of drones and a hijacked Iron Man suit and then his own suit? What is this a video game? Grrrr! These things get to me and I have to ask myself, did anyone else notice that? Those are just a few examples off the top of my head.What an anti-climatic battle scene between Iron Man, War Machine, and Vanko! That was dissappointing. Another thing, with all the spectacular special effects they couldn’t get a better costume for Samuel L Jackson than the ridiculous one he wears as Fury? It looks like they stole it off the set of a Syfy channel series. And one more gripe: Okay we get it Stan Lee made the fucking characters, we can stop the game of “Where’s Stan Lee?” already.
I know, I know, this is a movie and there are rules moviegoers play by, such as you suspend reality and enjoy. Yes, you can find all kinds of holes in any movie if you look hard enough, especially in a comic based one. I just don’t want them in my face. Look at the first Iron Man and The Dark Knight released around the same time, the stories were more cohesive, they had great writing! I could invest in those stories, but not this one. I only invested in Downey as Stark, that’s why the best I could give it is an “okay.” Dare I say it, I was almost bored.
Monday, May 17, 2010
What our grim silent partner can teach us.
I was speaking to my very good friend Lisa today and the subject of death came up. No, we were not having a conversation about killing ourselves; we are way too wonderful to end it now. We were contemplating on the benefits of knowing that one day we’re going to die. Speaking of those benefits she said, “Death is liberating.” I imagine some people cringing as they read this thinking, how can the knowledge of your inevitable death be beneficial?
At the end of the day, at the end of our lives, we all have the same outcome, death. It’s there, waiting patiently for us, like an obsessed ex-girlfriend sitting in your parking lot, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but the bitch is going to find us. You ever stress out about nonsensical matters? Do you take them way too seriously? Do you hold grudges for things that could easily be dismissed? Ask yourself, why? Why would you do that to yourself when ultimately it won’t mean a thing? Life is short; why not enjoy our splendid voyage investing in important issues rather than in issues that will soon be forgotten?
There are matters we should strive toward, for the benefit of ourselves, our family, and the species. There are issues that if not taken care of, would leave a heavy burden for the next generation. And even in these cases, death isn’t necessarily our enemy. Ever play a video game with a cheat code? How boring does it become when you get unlimited life, or even health? You don’t enjoy the game when it’s that easy. There is no challenge, there is nothing to overcome. The knowledge of our limited time can make our victories so much sweeter.
Death can be scary, and at times, unfortunately for some in horrific and inescapable situations, becomes the only liberator that brings peace; however, those with the good fortune and opportunity to enjoy their time on this racing rock, death need not be a bearer of fear. Death can be a reminder that we are not going to be here forever, and for some of us, it is a welcome partner in our journey. A grim, silent partner, that teaches us not to take life for granted. A dark figure that whispers, “Enjoy all the things that make life great, while you can, you won’t have it forever.”
At the end of the day, at the end of our lives, we all have the same outcome, death. It’s there, waiting patiently for us, like an obsessed ex-girlfriend sitting in your parking lot, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but the bitch is going to find us. You ever stress out about nonsensical matters? Do you take them way too seriously? Do you hold grudges for things that could easily be dismissed? Ask yourself, why? Why would you do that to yourself when ultimately it won’t mean a thing? Life is short; why not enjoy our splendid voyage investing in important issues rather than in issues that will soon be forgotten?
There are matters we should strive toward, for the benefit of ourselves, our family, and the species. There are issues that if not taken care of, would leave a heavy burden for the next generation. And even in these cases, death isn’t necessarily our enemy. Ever play a video game with a cheat code? How boring does it become when you get unlimited life, or even health? You don’t enjoy the game when it’s that easy. There is no challenge, there is nothing to overcome. The knowledge of our limited time can make our victories so much sweeter.
Death can be scary, and at times, unfortunately for some in horrific and inescapable situations, becomes the only liberator that brings peace; however, those with the good fortune and opportunity to enjoy their time on this racing rock, death need not be a bearer of fear. Death can be a reminder that we are not going to be here forever, and for some of us, it is a welcome partner in our journey. A grim, silent partner, that teaches us not to take life for granted. A dark figure that whispers, “Enjoy all the things that make life great, while you can, you won’t have it forever.”
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Boo! BOOOO!
My Mother started to go to Jehovah’s Witness meetings at the Kingdom Hall when I was six years old. It was me and two older sisters that would go to the meetings, my older brother Angel did not. My Aunt began to go the meetings as well. She had two daughters that were around my age and three teenage boys. This story is what my cousins “crazy Eddie” (his nickname) and Johnny convinced me to do at one of these meetings.
One Sunday I sat between Johnny and Eddie. Every Sunday we had what was called the “Public Talk” where a guest from another Kingdom Hall would come give a 45 minute sermon. At the end of this sermon the audience would applaud the speaker. He could’ve been the worst speaker ever; nevertheless, you clapped out of courtesy. As the speaker that Sunday approached his ending my cousin Eddie began to whisper in my ear and proceeded to make his case for a magnificent send off for this speaker. He told me that standing up, pointing both my thumbs down, and yelling “BOO!” was the best thing you could do for a speaker. That would be the ultimate compliment even better than clapping.
I was skeptical of course. Johnny caught my other ear and said the same thing confirming what Eddie had told six year old Ruben as true. They were older, they said it was the best thing, so they managed to convince me. The elevated tone of the speaker gave the indication that the public talk was over and as any well trained Jehovah’s Witness the audience began clapping. Not six year old Ruben. I stood up, extended my arms outward, held both my thumbs down and yelled out “Boo! BOOOOO!” At lightning speed I felt the familiar pinch of my Mother’s nails embedding my ear lobe. She dragged me down the aisle towards the bathroom as I yelled “But Eddie and Johnny told me it was a good thing!”
That was some funny shit.
One Sunday I sat between Johnny and Eddie. Every Sunday we had what was called the “Public Talk” where a guest from another Kingdom Hall would come give a 45 minute sermon. At the end of this sermon the audience would applaud the speaker. He could’ve been the worst speaker ever; nevertheless, you clapped out of courtesy. As the speaker that Sunday approached his ending my cousin Eddie began to whisper in my ear and proceeded to make his case for a magnificent send off for this speaker. He told me that standing up, pointing both my thumbs down, and yelling “BOO!” was the best thing you could do for a speaker. That would be the ultimate compliment even better than clapping.
I was skeptical of course. Johnny caught my other ear and said the same thing confirming what Eddie had told six year old Ruben as true. They were older, they said it was the best thing, so they managed to convince me. The elevated tone of the speaker gave the indication that the public talk was over and as any well trained Jehovah’s Witness the audience began clapping. Not six year old Ruben. I stood up, extended my arms outward, held both my thumbs down and yelled out “Boo! BOOOOO!” At lightning speed I felt the familiar pinch of my Mother’s nails embedding my ear lobe. She dragged me down the aisle towards the bathroom as I yelled “But Eddie and Johnny told me it was a good thing!”
That was some funny shit.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Look out for those people, they maybe in line to exit.
I was twenty-four year old Jehovah's Witness Ministerial Servant (aka Deacon) and my ex-wife was nineteen when we married. One of the factors that weighed heavily on our decision to get married was the desire to have sex. Fornication was not an option for an unmarried Jehovah’s Witness couple. It was marriage or no sex. I took the marriage route. Not to say I didn’t love her or that I didn’t want to start a family, I’m just saying the main reason behind the marriage was raging hormones. The warning signs of an impending disastrous relationship were there when we were dating.
After two years our marriage was falling apart. We fought most of the time. We were miserable. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when I discovered through an email message that she was seeing another man. When questioned she admitted it. She confessed to have kissed other men. I did what every responsible Jehovah’s Witness would do; I decided to go to the elders of the congregation for help. I invited them to our home to speak to us about a problem we were having.
They came over and sat with us at our dinner table. With the bible in hand and copies of watchtower articles in plastic sleeves the presiding overseer of the congregation began his presentation. The elders already knew we were having problems for some time, they had counseled us before. However, they were unaware of the news I had for them that night. I tried to get a word in as he babbled, but the mixture of anger, sorrow, and his interruptions to what I had to say made it difficult for me to spill the beans. He spent about an hour pointing out how our problems were my fault. The root of our problems according to them? As the head of the household I allowed our spirituality to dwindle. Once he was done, I looked at him and simply stated “She kissed three guys.” A facial expression that expressed oh appeared on his face before he continued. The solution he presented was to work on our spirituality that he "lovingly" reminded me I allowed to dwindle. I had no other choice to stay in the marriage. Kissing other men was not grounds for a divorce.
We attempted to work things out, but at the end of the day our marriage was beyond repair. She moved out and began living with one of the men she was seeing behind my back. Once I discovered this I went to the elders with this information.“Now can I go?!” Her fornication was my way out.
I do not look back at these events with anger. She escaped the only way she knew how; cheating was the only way to dissolve the marriage unless one of the partners died. What choice was she left with? I would’ve fought it to the end, quoting the watchtower, reading her the bible, telling her that divorce was not an option, and insisted the elders were the ones we should trust with our issues. You can add to that all the pressure the elders and her Jehovah’s Witness parents added. Instead of staying in a miserable marriage she decided to escape a bad situation by placing herself in a position that would make her “the bad guy.” It was her actions that led to a series of events that ultimately led us both to better places, how can I hold that against her? Of course what happened did hurt me at the time, especially when she got pregnant a few month later. I had always wished to be a father. That was the biggest blow, but that was more of an ego thing.
Once the divorce was in process I really tried to do what I thought was the right thing. I tried becoming “spiritually strong” as the Jehovah’s Witnesses put it. That didn’t last very long. In short time I was out partying and eventually doing what I wanted to do. I discovered that I didn’t feel guilty. In my head I felt justified. I had spent years being “good” doing my best to follow their rules. I failed every once in awhile, but I did my best and it got me nowhere. So I did my thing. I could always go back I thought.
My neighbor, who was from another Jehovah’s Witness congregation, was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) because of a sexual relationship we had. All the while I was flying under the radar, going to some of their assemblies, hoping from one congregation to another, leading what they call "a double life." One day I got home to find her in my apartment crying with some our friends and my roommates. She began to yell at me, calling me out on my hypocrisy. “How come nothing is happening to you?!” I felt like a hypocrite, so I decided to confess to the elders. I met with the elders from the new congregation I sporadically attended and told them what was going on. They informed me there couldn’t act on it until they received my publisher card from my old congregation, which I was avoiding like the plague. Their inability to reach me allowed time for a change in the course of events.
I told a close friend about my desire to go back and make things right with the congregation. My friend said two words that forever changed my life. She compared the Watchtower with “Big Brother” from the book 1984. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. At that moment I woke up. I KNEW! All the doubts I ever had rushed back to me at that moment. I proceeded to look up information on the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. I found Crises of Conscience at a book store and read what former Governing Body member Raymond Franz wrote in regards to the Witnesses. With the evidence this book presented and other information I researched, I came to the conclusion that the Watchtower organization was as fraudulent as any other religious organization that claims ultimate truth.
A few weeks later I sent in my letter to disassociate myself from the Jehovah’s Witness organization. I simply stated that I no longer wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness and to not contact me. I sent the letter to both my new and old congregation in order to make sure the appropriate person got it. Two of the elders of my old congregation came by to make sure it was me who sent the letter because they received it in a “strange way.” I said it was me and that was the end of that discussion.The announced my disassociation in both congregations. I was to be treated the same as a person who is excommunicated.
One of the biggest lessons life has taught me is that no matter what you say or think, what defines you is what you do. Before you give up hope on a person that is involved with such a group, observe their behavior. Focus on that rather than the words they say. You will find a number of them whose actions do not coincide with their beliefs. Look out for those people, they maybe in line to exit. It doesn’t always take an egregious act by the group or some member of the group to get people questioning their beliefs. Sometimes bad decisions, doubts, and life in general can take you down that road.
I am glad I realized that much of what I believed and disbelieved was based on interpretations of ancient writings dictated by men whose sole concern is for the continuation of their corporation. I decided that I would come to my own conclusions based on the evidence presented, reason, and common sense. This led me to where I am today, free from a coercive high control religious cult. I have facts, explanations, and a couple of great ideas. I'm happy with that.
After two years our marriage was falling apart. We fought most of the time. We were miserable. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when I discovered through an email message that she was seeing another man. When questioned she admitted it. She confessed to have kissed other men. I did what every responsible Jehovah’s Witness would do; I decided to go to the elders of the congregation for help. I invited them to our home to speak to us about a problem we were having.
They came over and sat with us at our dinner table. With the bible in hand and copies of watchtower articles in plastic sleeves the presiding overseer of the congregation began his presentation. The elders already knew we were having problems for some time, they had counseled us before. However, they were unaware of the news I had for them that night. I tried to get a word in as he babbled, but the mixture of anger, sorrow, and his interruptions to what I had to say made it difficult for me to spill the beans. He spent about an hour pointing out how our problems were my fault. The root of our problems according to them? As the head of the household I allowed our spirituality to dwindle. Once he was done, I looked at him and simply stated “She kissed three guys.” A facial expression that expressed oh appeared on his face before he continued. The solution he presented was to work on our spirituality that he "lovingly" reminded me I allowed to dwindle. I had no other choice to stay in the marriage. Kissing other men was not grounds for a divorce.
We attempted to work things out, but at the end of the day our marriage was beyond repair. She moved out and began living with one of the men she was seeing behind my back. Once I discovered this I went to the elders with this information.“Now can I go?!” Her fornication was my way out.
I do not look back at these events with anger. She escaped the only way she knew how; cheating was the only way to dissolve the marriage unless one of the partners died. What choice was she left with? I would’ve fought it to the end, quoting the watchtower, reading her the bible, telling her that divorce was not an option, and insisted the elders were the ones we should trust with our issues. You can add to that all the pressure the elders and her Jehovah’s Witness parents added. Instead of staying in a miserable marriage she decided to escape a bad situation by placing herself in a position that would make her “the bad guy.” It was her actions that led to a series of events that ultimately led us both to better places, how can I hold that against her? Of course what happened did hurt me at the time, especially when she got pregnant a few month later. I had always wished to be a father. That was the biggest blow, but that was more of an ego thing.
Once the divorce was in process I really tried to do what I thought was the right thing. I tried becoming “spiritually strong” as the Jehovah’s Witnesses put it. That didn’t last very long. In short time I was out partying and eventually doing what I wanted to do. I discovered that I didn’t feel guilty. In my head I felt justified. I had spent years being “good” doing my best to follow their rules. I failed every once in awhile, but I did my best and it got me nowhere. So I did my thing. I could always go back I thought.
My neighbor, who was from another Jehovah’s Witness congregation, was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) because of a sexual relationship we had. All the while I was flying under the radar, going to some of their assemblies, hoping from one congregation to another, leading what they call "a double life." One day I got home to find her in my apartment crying with some our friends and my roommates. She began to yell at me, calling me out on my hypocrisy. “How come nothing is happening to you?!” I felt like a hypocrite, so I decided to confess to the elders. I met with the elders from the new congregation I sporadically attended and told them what was going on. They informed me there couldn’t act on it until they received my publisher card from my old congregation, which I was avoiding like the plague. Their inability to reach me allowed time for a change in the course of events.
I told a close friend about my desire to go back and make things right with the congregation. My friend said two words that forever changed my life. She compared the Watchtower with “Big Brother” from the book 1984. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. At that moment I woke up. I KNEW! All the doubts I ever had rushed back to me at that moment. I proceeded to look up information on the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. I found Crises of Conscience at a book store and read what former Governing Body member Raymond Franz wrote in regards to the Witnesses. With the evidence this book presented and other information I researched, I came to the conclusion that the Watchtower organization was as fraudulent as any other religious organization that claims ultimate truth.
A few weeks later I sent in my letter to disassociate myself from the Jehovah’s Witness organization. I simply stated that I no longer wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness and to not contact me. I sent the letter to both my new and old congregation in order to make sure the appropriate person got it. Two of the elders of my old congregation came by to make sure it was me who sent the letter because they received it in a “strange way.” I said it was me and that was the end of that discussion.The announced my disassociation in both congregations. I was to be treated the same as a person who is excommunicated.
One of the biggest lessons life has taught me is that no matter what you say or think, what defines you is what you do. Before you give up hope on a person that is involved with such a group, observe their behavior. Focus on that rather than the words they say. You will find a number of them whose actions do not coincide with their beliefs. Look out for those people, they maybe in line to exit. It doesn’t always take an egregious act by the group or some member of the group to get people questioning their beliefs. Sometimes bad decisions, doubts, and life in general can take you down that road.
I am glad I realized that much of what I believed and disbelieved was based on interpretations of ancient writings dictated by men whose sole concern is for the continuation of their corporation. I decided that I would come to my own conclusions based on the evidence presented, reason, and common sense. This led me to where I am today, free from a coercive high control religious cult. I have facts, explanations, and a couple of great ideas. I'm happy with that.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
My problem with some of the Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Groups
I have created and moderated an Ex-Jehovah’s Witness group with the intention of aiding those who have either left or are leaving the Jehovah’s Witness Religion for the last four years. It has been a tremendous help for the active members to assemble online and discuss issues with others that have gone through the same difficult process. The first two groups were on MySpace, and the latest version can be found on Facebook.
The Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Groups on the Internet have grown in number over the past few years. You can find them everywhere now. You have JWD on Jehovahs-Witness.net, tons of groups on Facebook / MySpace like Watchtower Uncensored, websites like Six Screens of the Watchtower, and Christianwitnesses.com. Some of these groups have conference calls with the intention of reaching ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and those who are out who are on the fence with their faith.
All of these venues and many more have aided many in their recovery. However, I do find a huge fault in many of them. Many of those looking to assist the ex-Jehovah’s Witness do so with the intention of ministering to them. Their way of helping another recover is to insist that their perspective is the only one worth examining. I think that’s a bad approach.
I see what many of them have to say and I ask myself What? How are you helping them when you are doing the exact same thing the Witnesses do?
I listen to some of these conference calls, and I ask myself Am I listening to a public discourse at a Kingdom Hall? They still use the same terms, and in their discussions show signs of holding the same type of mentality the Jehovah’s Witnesses have. Calling each other “brother” and “sister” on a call. Why is the same loaded language being used? Are you trying to appeal to those that are Witnesses by showing them you are no different then they are? What message are you sending?
So many of these ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses are so consumed with their new religious perspectives, that they cannot offer aide without resorting to evangelism. The only answer is their answer, the only way to go, once out of the Watchtower organization, is their way. You may ask, what's wrong with that? These Ex-Witnesses looking for support are vulnerable, and for them to be told “this is how you should think” is not fair. How are they to grow when they are not encouraged to come to their own conclusions?
I am not saying one shouldn’t share their perspective on life, the universe, our origins, God, etc. We all do it. These matters are extremely important and should be discussed. We should make threads and topics of discussions where people can share their ideas and even debate them. That is great! The problem arises when you make it your prerogative to convert a person to your worldview in a forum intended to help them out of a High Control group. When you do this, not only are you showing how little you have changed from your Jehovah peddling days, you are also stifling their development as persons free from the control of the Watchtower Society.
The objective should be to present the facts about this organization, and to help these ex-members develop critical thinking skills through discussion, to help them learn to think for themselves. To show empathy to another person that is going through something you may have gone through at one time. To send the message “you are not alone!” To show them that one could be happy after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses and that it is a lie when they say that is not possible. And so much more.
The object shouldn’t be to throw them into another group that claims exclusivity in the same manner they were manipualted into the one they are attempting to break free of.
The Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Groups on the Internet have grown in number over the past few years. You can find them everywhere now. You have JWD on Jehovahs-Witness.net, tons of groups on Facebook / MySpace like Watchtower Uncensored, websites like Six Screens of the Watchtower, and Christianwitnesses.com. Some of these groups have conference calls with the intention of reaching ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and those who are out who are on the fence with their faith.
All of these venues and many more have aided many in their recovery. However, I do find a huge fault in many of them. Many of those looking to assist the ex-Jehovah’s Witness do so with the intention of ministering to them. Their way of helping another recover is to insist that their perspective is the only one worth examining. I think that’s a bad approach.
I see what many of them have to say and I ask myself What? How are you helping them when you are doing the exact same thing the Witnesses do?
I listen to some of these conference calls, and I ask myself Am I listening to a public discourse at a Kingdom Hall? They still use the same terms, and in their discussions show signs of holding the same type of mentality the Jehovah’s Witnesses have. Calling each other “brother” and “sister” on a call. Why is the same loaded language being used? Are you trying to appeal to those that are Witnesses by showing them you are no different then they are? What message are you sending?
So many of these ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses are so consumed with their new religious perspectives, that they cannot offer aide without resorting to evangelism. The only answer is their answer, the only way to go, once out of the Watchtower organization, is their way. You may ask, what's wrong with that? These Ex-Witnesses looking for support are vulnerable, and for them to be told “this is how you should think” is not fair. How are they to grow when they are not encouraged to come to their own conclusions?
I am not saying one shouldn’t share their perspective on life, the universe, our origins, God, etc. We all do it. These matters are extremely important and should be discussed. We should make threads and topics of discussions where people can share their ideas and even debate them. That is great! The problem arises when you make it your prerogative to convert a person to your worldview in a forum intended to help them out of a High Control group. When you do this, not only are you showing how little you have changed from your Jehovah peddling days, you are also stifling their development as persons free from the control of the Watchtower Society.
The objective should be to present the facts about this organization, and to help these ex-members develop critical thinking skills through discussion, to help them learn to think for themselves. To show empathy to another person that is going through something you may have gone through at one time. To send the message “you are not alone!” To show them that one could be happy after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses and that it is a lie when they say that is not possible. And so much more.
The object shouldn’t be to throw them into another group that claims exclusivity in the same manner they were manipualted into the one they are attempting to break free of.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Thank God!
Dear Humans,
You should be able to read this letter in your language. It will automatically translate to the language your brain is attuned to, and how you use the language. Oh and if you’re a moron, it’s going to sound moronic. So don’t blame me.
It’s me God. Wow! I’m telling you that was one long ass nap! Last thing I remember were a couple of you guys throwing poo at each other and me laughing at that funny little guy that ran around screaming “ooohhh ahhh ahhh ohhh ahhh ahhh!” LMFAO! Now that was funny! Oh sorry, where was I? Oh yeah! Well apparently that hidden code in DNA worked! Here you are with a huge frontal lobe, thinking, creating, and all that jazz. Great! Just as I planned! Let nature take its course and see what you get? Talking apes! So glad you didn’t evolve with the shit coming out of your head. You should meet the folks on Cz9, not a pretty sight or a good smelling one.
Okay what’s the point of this letter? Well I need to ask you guys a HUGE favor, namely those who claim to “know me” SHUT UP! STOP THANKING ME FOR EVERYTHING! Ug! It drives me Ray Comfort! Get it? Bananas? BA! The Angels like it!
I didn’t do anything worthy of a thank you lately. Look I’m just another god, making and destroying universes, and right now I am trying to take a nap, and you all woke me up! You know how? You’re all calling out to me at the same time! Day and night! And for the stupidest shit! What happened in the process that made you so needy? Geez! Hello? You have the capacity to do it yourselves! Use it!
You know what I heard that finally got me out of my slumber? Some chump thanking me for his success as a singer! Wow! How full of it is that guy? Didn’t thank his parents, or the other people that have had his back throughout his career, he thanked me; well at least he thought it was me. He actually said it was Jesus, my supposed “son” who supposedly is me. HA!
You guys are making me look bad, like it’s not bad enough you have books that make me seem like the universe’s biggest douche bag. In case you didn’t notice I haven’t been around, BECAUSE I WAS RESTING! I missed a lot! You apes seem to get in a lot of trouble and are pretty self –centered. The only reason you thank me is because you think you are getting something out of it. You can’t fool me, I wrote the programming. Plain and simple. Why do you think I was out of the picture this whole time? I’m waiting until you let go of those primitive qualities.
AGAIN! Please be quite!
Sincerely,
God # 125,632-B
You should be able to read this letter in your language. It will automatically translate to the language your brain is attuned to, and how you use the language. Oh and if you’re a moron, it’s going to sound moronic. So don’t blame me.
It’s me God. Wow! I’m telling you that was one long ass nap! Last thing I remember were a couple of you guys throwing poo at each other and me laughing at that funny little guy that ran around screaming “ooohhh ahhh ahhh ohhh ahhh ahhh!” LMFAO! Now that was funny! Oh sorry, where was I? Oh yeah! Well apparently that hidden code in DNA worked! Here you are with a huge frontal lobe, thinking, creating, and all that jazz. Great! Just as I planned! Let nature take its course and see what you get? Talking apes! So glad you didn’t evolve with the shit coming out of your head. You should meet the folks on Cz9, not a pretty sight or a good smelling one.
Okay what’s the point of this letter? Well I need to ask you guys a HUGE favor, namely those who claim to “know me” SHUT UP! STOP THANKING ME FOR EVERYTHING! Ug! It drives me Ray Comfort! Get it? Bananas? BA! The Angels like it!
I didn’t do anything worthy of a thank you lately. Look I’m just another god, making and destroying universes, and right now I am trying to take a nap, and you all woke me up! You know how? You’re all calling out to me at the same time! Day and night! And for the stupidest shit! What happened in the process that made you so needy? Geez! Hello? You have the capacity to do it yourselves! Use it!
You know what I heard that finally got me out of my slumber? Some chump thanking me for his success as a singer! Wow! How full of it is that guy? Didn’t thank his parents, or the other people that have had his back throughout his career, he thanked me; well at least he thought it was me. He actually said it was Jesus, my supposed “son” who supposedly is me. HA!
You guys are making me look bad, like it’s not bad enough you have books that make me seem like the universe’s biggest douche bag. In case you didn’t notice I haven’t been around, BECAUSE I WAS RESTING! I missed a lot! You apes seem to get in a lot of trouble and are pretty self –centered. The only reason you thank me is because you think you are getting something out of it. You can’t fool me, I wrote the programming. Plain and simple. Why do you think I was out of the picture this whole time? I’m waiting until you let go of those primitive qualities.
AGAIN! Please be quite!
Sincerely,
God # 125,632-B
Monday, May 3, 2010
Dream
In my dream I see you there,
as a child your love you share.
This dream is not reality
a glimpse of time once known to me.
Built a life that's new to you
built a life designed for two.
Mettle in your life no more
hurting you I can't succor.
One day I will be a dream
forgotten by the strike of years.
as a child your love you share.
This dream is not reality
a glimpse of time once known to me.
Built a life that's new to you
built a life designed for two.
Mettle in your life no more
hurting you I can't succor.
One day I will be a dream
forgotten by the strike of years.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dear God
Dear God,
So you finally decided to come out of the closet and make yourself known. Welcome to the planet Earth. For some years now, I professed my view on God as atheist. I have no problem with stating that I was wrong, I have always been receptive to being approached with real evidence of your existence. There was none, until now.
Now that you decided to show up, what it is you want from us? Apparently the whole world had you figured wrong. Billions gave you veneration for thousands of years using the writings of other men that had faith in their concept of you. So many people with so many versions of what you represented. Yet what you are showing us now is nothing no person expected.
However exciting your existence is to many, I find it disturbing. Humans have been the masters of their own destinies since the beginning. The wonderful thing about us is that as a species we have evolved the capacity to look ahead and make this world as wonderful as it can be for us. The existence of malice and harm to others was just the actions of self-centered men. It all made sense that way. But now that you are here, you have been added to that equation. That makes you part of the problem.
God you have the power to kick start the Universe and yet you sat back and offer no real direction. The positive advances of man have come from the effort of the humans on this planet. You have contributed nothing. That doesn't mean that we are not without flaws. For example some of the most vile atrocities have been done in the name of God. And in all this time you have offered no assistance. You have allowed man to manipulate man using “God” as their leverage. What kind of sick demented all knowing all powerful God would allow these things to happen when he/she has the capacity to stop it?
Your existence is confirmation that you are an asshole and you really don’t give two shits about what you started. Even if I do think this about you, I do appreciate the opportunity to enjoy the life I have. I can respect you for making life possible; however I don’t have to love someone who shows no love for his/her family. You abandoned your children long ago.
If you want worship you are not getting it from me. Respect my following request: Stay out of my life as you always have. I don’t want anything from you. No heaven, no hell, just what I have now. This life and the ability I have to make the best of it. I want what the serpent offered Eve in that interesting fairy tale a man once wrote; the ability to be like a God and take your life into whatever direction you want it to go. There is nothing like it.
Respectfully,
Ruben Ortiz
So you finally decided to come out of the closet and make yourself known. Welcome to the planet Earth. For some years now, I professed my view on God as atheist. I have no problem with stating that I was wrong, I have always been receptive to being approached with real evidence of your existence. There was none, until now.
Now that you decided to show up, what it is you want from us? Apparently the whole world had you figured wrong. Billions gave you veneration for thousands of years using the writings of other men that had faith in their concept of you. So many people with so many versions of what you represented. Yet what you are showing us now is nothing no person expected.
However exciting your existence is to many, I find it disturbing. Humans have been the masters of their own destinies since the beginning. The wonderful thing about us is that as a species we have evolved the capacity to look ahead and make this world as wonderful as it can be for us. The existence of malice and harm to others was just the actions of self-centered men. It all made sense that way. But now that you are here, you have been added to that equation. That makes you part of the problem.
God you have the power to kick start the Universe and yet you sat back and offer no real direction. The positive advances of man have come from the effort of the humans on this planet. You have contributed nothing. That doesn't mean that we are not without flaws. For example some of the most vile atrocities have been done in the name of God. And in all this time you have offered no assistance. You have allowed man to manipulate man using “God” as their leverage. What kind of sick demented all knowing all powerful God would allow these things to happen when he/she has the capacity to stop it?
Your existence is confirmation that you are an asshole and you really don’t give two shits about what you started. Even if I do think this about you, I do appreciate the opportunity to enjoy the life I have. I can respect you for making life possible; however I don’t have to love someone who shows no love for his/her family. You abandoned your children long ago.
If you want worship you are not getting it from me. Respect my following request: Stay out of my life as you always have. I don’t want anything from you. No heaven, no hell, just what I have now. This life and the ability I have to make the best of it. I want what the serpent offered Eve in that interesting fairy tale a man once wrote; the ability to be like a God and take your life into whatever direction you want it to go. There is nothing like it.
Respectfully,
Ruben Ortiz
Thoughts 9/14/09
I look back and my memories seem so close and so distant at the same time. I can recall playing with a transformer at 10 and falling in love at 20 and I can feel what I felt at those moments. I can grasp that toy and make him more than meets the eye or feel her lips for the first time as lighting strikes me. I can travel in time like a god or an advanced being and relive the joy and sorrows of my past. I can be there in an instant and yet feel so far away from now. I can even look forward to the future and create scenarios that can lead to desired results. However, even with all this power I cannot stop the hand of time forever forcing forward obligating my existence to oblivion. My body responds to this push showing signs of wearing as my mind copes with an increase of clarity and an ability to use my time traveling ability in a more beneficial manner. I can learn from the past and peak forward to the future with discernment and an ability to avoid the same pitfalls. No one lives forever and this gift is also as temporary as my existence.
Many people ponder the meaning of life. Meaning of life? As humans we have developed the aptitude to ask this question. But is that the right question? What meaning can anything we know that exists have when it is fleeting? What was the meaning of the life of King Tyrannosaurus that ruled the Earth millions of years ago or the butterfly that flew by your window a year ago? Maybe the question should be “What should we do with our lives now that we have true power?” From stars to bugs it all comes to an end. Life is short and we could make it a wonder or a horror. We are the directors of our lives and it’s sad to see so many wasting it by buying into the illusion that they are powerless and without the ability to work collectively towards a better tomorrow for all the powerful beings that roam on the surface of this planet.
I cried tonight. I have cried in the past usually about some problem or some other selfish issue I had my hand in that hurt me enough to cause that reaction. Tonight was different. I cried tears of joy. I am happy with my life. I have family, friends, and a significant other that truly loves me for who I am. And most importantly I love myself. Will I have this forever? No. It could end a week from now or 70 years from now. I can lose it all in an instant either by death or by my own stupidity if I am not careful. But at this moment I am living and breathing a shared creation. What should I do with my life now that I have this power? Enjoy every second I have on this planet. I will strive to make a positive difference in my life and in other’s lives. Time will force forward and I will grab its sturdy hand and waltz. And when it all ends I would love to be able to look back and say “That was beautiful and that was fun.”
Many people ponder the meaning of life. Meaning of life? As humans we have developed the aptitude to ask this question. But is that the right question? What meaning can anything we know that exists have when it is fleeting? What was the meaning of the life of King Tyrannosaurus that ruled the Earth millions of years ago or the butterfly that flew by your window a year ago? Maybe the question should be “What should we do with our lives now that we have true power?” From stars to bugs it all comes to an end. Life is short and we could make it a wonder or a horror. We are the directors of our lives and it’s sad to see so many wasting it by buying into the illusion that they are powerless and without the ability to work collectively towards a better tomorrow for all the powerful beings that roam on the surface of this planet.
I cried tonight. I have cried in the past usually about some problem or some other selfish issue I had my hand in that hurt me enough to cause that reaction. Tonight was different. I cried tears of joy. I am happy with my life. I have family, friends, and a significant other that truly loves me for who I am. And most importantly I love myself. Will I have this forever? No. It could end a week from now or 70 years from now. I can lose it all in an instant either by death or by my own stupidity if I am not careful. But at this moment I am living and breathing a shared creation. What should I do with my life now that I have this power? Enjoy every second I have on this planet. I will strive to make a positive difference in my life and in other’s lives. Time will force forward and I will grab its sturdy hand and waltz. And when it all ends I would love to be able to look back and say “That was beautiful and that was fun.”
Julio Iglesias is not my Father.
I have really enjoyed spending time with my Father on a weekly basis. It seems I always have something interesting to share each time I am here. When I arrived here tonight, I decided to call my Mother to see how she was doing, she was recently in the Hospital and now home doing much better. As I spoke to her my Dad asked me to hand him the phone when I was done, so that he could see how she was doing. I gave him the phone and the nicest conversation began. They caught up on each other's lives, my Father excitingly informed her of his new relationship, asked about my brother and sisters (not his biologically) which he boasted he loves as his own, and they exchanged other pleasantries. It was an overall pleasant conversation between old friends.
I thought back to the few years my Mother and Father were not getting along. A time where she was still hurt by his deception and disloyalty. I stopped seeing my Father at the age of four. By the time I started grade school I had no idea who my Father was. Actually, I thought I knew who my Father was. One day I was looking through my Mother’s record collection and asked her who the man on the cover was. She replied “Your Father.” And from that day forward I believed whole heartedly that Julio Iglesias was my Father. I didn’t have Santa, but I had Julio. It was the family gag that I wasn’t in on, I would tell everyone I met. People at my church (Kingdom Hall,) teachers at school, you name it. They all thought I was sooo cute. After some time the stories died down, but I was still a hard core believer in the Julio Iglesias Father belief. One night I repeated the infamous words “My Dad” as I sat alone in the living room going through my “Father’s” pictures on the record covers. My sister Maggie overheard and was apparently shocked. She yelled “Mom! He still believes that! Tell him the truth!” My sister didn’t wait; she told me the truth about my fantasy Dad, the Dad I would spend hours listening to and staring at on the front of those record covers. I was distraught and pleaded to my Mother to tell me who my Father was. She attempted to remind me, but there was nothing to remember, I had forgotten.
She decided to put aside her anger and take me to New York to see this man. I was eight years old, aching to have a paternal figure in my life. We went to Catalina and Jose’s house, family friends, to meet him. I eagerly waited by the door, and then came the knock. My heart was racing, I didn’t know what to expect. And when the door opened there he was with his arms wide open and without a moment of hesitation, despite this being the “first time” seeing him I ran to him. He was just as exited as I was, and just as happy.
From that point forward the trips to New York and his trips to Massachusetts were a regular occurrence. And I noticed something, my Parents were becoming friends. So much so that when we would go visit New York City it was at his place we would stay, and when he came to visit me he would stay with us. People may have thought there was something going on, but my Mother didn’t care, and when my Father had girlfriends that would object to this arrangement he would show them the door. We were his family and we came first. To this day they remain good friends. When my Mother lived in the same area as my Father a few years ago, and I was still in California, my Father would go visit her just to check up on her. Did he have to? The kid is full grown but the appreciation is still there as demonstrated in the kind words expressed tonight on that phone call.
My Parents are not without fault, but they are good people whose actions have taught me a great deal. What have I learned from this? Life is too short to hold grudges. Past mistakes don't have to make it impossible to change the present or future of your relationships. The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to dismantle your family. I see this in action with other members in my family as well. I have much admiration of the relationship my sister has with her Ex-Husband; they too have had the maturity to establish such a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has the maturity level to accomplish such actions, but it is nice to know it can be done.
Not all of life’s lessons are spelled out, keep your eyes open, there is beauty and knowledge in the actions of the wise.
I thought back to the few years my Mother and Father were not getting along. A time where she was still hurt by his deception and disloyalty. I stopped seeing my Father at the age of four. By the time I started grade school I had no idea who my Father was. Actually, I thought I knew who my Father was. One day I was looking through my Mother’s record collection and asked her who the man on the cover was. She replied “Your Father.” And from that day forward I believed whole heartedly that Julio Iglesias was my Father. I didn’t have Santa, but I had Julio. It was the family gag that I wasn’t in on, I would tell everyone I met. People at my church (Kingdom Hall,) teachers at school, you name it. They all thought I was sooo cute. After some time the stories died down, but I was still a hard core believer in the Julio Iglesias Father belief. One night I repeated the infamous words “My Dad” as I sat alone in the living room going through my “Father’s” pictures on the record covers. My sister Maggie overheard and was apparently shocked. She yelled “Mom! He still believes that! Tell him the truth!” My sister didn’t wait; she told me the truth about my fantasy Dad, the Dad I would spend hours listening to and staring at on the front of those record covers. I was distraught and pleaded to my Mother to tell me who my Father was. She attempted to remind me, but there was nothing to remember, I had forgotten.
She decided to put aside her anger and take me to New York to see this man. I was eight years old, aching to have a paternal figure in my life. We went to Catalina and Jose’s house, family friends, to meet him. I eagerly waited by the door, and then came the knock. My heart was racing, I didn’t know what to expect. And when the door opened there he was with his arms wide open and without a moment of hesitation, despite this being the “first time” seeing him I ran to him. He was just as exited as I was, and just as happy.
From that point forward the trips to New York and his trips to Massachusetts were a regular occurrence. And I noticed something, my Parents were becoming friends. So much so that when we would go visit New York City it was at his place we would stay, and when he came to visit me he would stay with us. People may have thought there was something going on, but my Mother didn’t care, and when my Father had girlfriends that would object to this arrangement he would show them the door. We were his family and we came first. To this day they remain good friends. When my Mother lived in the same area as my Father a few years ago, and I was still in California, my Father would go visit her just to check up on her. Did he have to? The kid is full grown but the appreciation is still there as demonstrated in the kind words expressed tonight on that phone call.
My Parents are not without fault, but they are good people whose actions have taught me a great deal. What have I learned from this? Life is too short to hold grudges. Past mistakes don't have to make it impossible to change the present or future of your relationships. The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to dismantle your family. I see this in action with other members in my family as well. I have much admiration of the relationship my sister has with her Ex-Husband; they too have had the maturity to establish such a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has the maturity level to accomplish such actions, but it is nice to know it can be done.
Not all of life’s lessons are spelled out, keep your eyes open, there is beauty and knowledge in the actions of the wise.
Welcome to my Momentary Glimpse.
Well I have decided to join the World of blogging. Here I am ready to write what's on my mind. In case you are wondering why I call my blog Ruben's Momentary Glimpse, I derived the name from a very famous quote by Carl Sagan "Life is but a momentary glimpse of this astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy."
I hope you enjoy my future blogs. I think I will start off by posting some of my old stuff I have up on other sites. Then on with the show!
That’s it for now, don’t get all excited people, this was just an intro. ;)
I hope you enjoy my future blogs. I think I will start off by posting some of my old stuff I have up on other sites. Then on with the show!
That’s it for now, don’t get all excited people, this was just an intro. ;)
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