Dear God,
So you finally decided to come out of the closet and make yourself known. Welcome to the planet Earth. For some years now, I professed my view on God as atheist. I have no problem with stating that I was wrong, I have always been receptive to being approached with real evidence of your existence. There was none, until now.
Now that you decided to show up, what it is you want from us? Apparently the whole world had you figured wrong. Billions gave you veneration for thousands of years using the writings of other men that had faith in their concept of you. So many people with so many versions of what you represented. Yet what you are showing us now is nothing no person expected.
However exciting your existence is to many, I find it disturbing. Humans have been the masters of their own destinies since the beginning. The wonderful thing about us is that as a species we have evolved the capacity to look ahead and make this world as wonderful as it can be for us. The existence of malice and harm to others was just the actions of self-centered men. It all made sense that way. But now that you are here, you have been added to that equation. That makes you part of the problem.
God you have the power to kick start the Universe and yet you sat back and offer no real direction. The positive advances of man have come from the effort of the humans on this planet. You have contributed nothing. That doesn't mean that we are not without flaws. For example some of the most vile atrocities have been done in the name of God. And in all this time you have offered no assistance. You have allowed man to manipulate man using “God” as their leverage. What kind of sick demented all knowing all powerful God would allow these things to happen when he/she has the capacity to stop it?
Your existence is confirmation that you are an asshole and you really don’t give two shits about what you started. Even if I do think this about you, I do appreciate the opportunity to enjoy the life I have. I can respect you for making life possible; however I don’t have to love someone who shows no love for his/her family. You abandoned your children long ago.
If you want worship you are not getting it from me. Respect my following request: Stay out of my life as you always have. I don’t want anything from you. No heaven, no hell, just what I have now. This life and the ability I have to make the best of it. I want what the serpent offered Eve in that interesting fairy tale a man once wrote; the ability to be like a God and take your life into whatever direction you want it to go. There is nothing like it.
Respectfully,
Ruben Ortiz
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thoughts 9/14/09
I look back and my memories seem so close and so distant at the same time. I can recall playing with a transformer at 10 and falling in love at 20 and I can feel what I felt at those moments. I can grasp that toy and make him more than meets the eye or feel her lips for the first time as lighting strikes me. I can travel in time like a god or an advanced being and relive the joy and sorrows of my past. I can be there in an instant and yet feel so far away from now. I can even look forward to the future and create scenarios that can lead to desired results. However, even with all this power I cannot stop the hand of time forever forcing forward obligating my existence to oblivion. My body responds to this push showing signs of wearing as my mind copes with an increase of clarity and an ability to use my time traveling ability in a more beneficial manner. I can learn from the past and peak forward to the future with discernment and an ability to avoid the same pitfalls. No one lives forever and this gift is also as temporary as my existence.
Many people ponder the meaning of life. Meaning of life? As humans we have developed the aptitude to ask this question. But is that the right question? What meaning can anything we know that exists have when it is fleeting? What was the meaning of the life of King Tyrannosaurus that ruled the Earth millions of years ago or the butterfly that flew by your window a year ago? Maybe the question should be “What should we do with our lives now that we have true power?” From stars to bugs it all comes to an end. Life is short and we could make it a wonder or a horror. We are the directors of our lives and it’s sad to see so many wasting it by buying into the illusion that they are powerless and without the ability to work collectively towards a better tomorrow for all the powerful beings that roam on the surface of this planet.
I cried tonight. I have cried in the past usually about some problem or some other selfish issue I had my hand in that hurt me enough to cause that reaction. Tonight was different. I cried tears of joy. I am happy with my life. I have family, friends, and a significant other that truly loves me for who I am. And most importantly I love myself. Will I have this forever? No. It could end a week from now or 70 years from now. I can lose it all in an instant either by death or by my own stupidity if I am not careful. But at this moment I am living and breathing a shared creation. What should I do with my life now that I have this power? Enjoy every second I have on this planet. I will strive to make a positive difference in my life and in other’s lives. Time will force forward and I will grab its sturdy hand and waltz. And when it all ends I would love to be able to look back and say “That was beautiful and that was fun.”
Many people ponder the meaning of life. Meaning of life? As humans we have developed the aptitude to ask this question. But is that the right question? What meaning can anything we know that exists have when it is fleeting? What was the meaning of the life of King Tyrannosaurus that ruled the Earth millions of years ago or the butterfly that flew by your window a year ago? Maybe the question should be “What should we do with our lives now that we have true power?” From stars to bugs it all comes to an end. Life is short and we could make it a wonder or a horror. We are the directors of our lives and it’s sad to see so many wasting it by buying into the illusion that they are powerless and without the ability to work collectively towards a better tomorrow for all the powerful beings that roam on the surface of this planet.
I cried tonight. I have cried in the past usually about some problem or some other selfish issue I had my hand in that hurt me enough to cause that reaction. Tonight was different. I cried tears of joy. I am happy with my life. I have family, friends, and a significant other that truly loves me for who I am. And most importantly I love myself. Will I have this forever? No. It could end a week from now or 70 years from now. I can lose it all in an instant either by death or by my own stupidity if I am not careful. But at this moment I am living and breathing a shared creation. What should I do with my life now that I have this power? Enjoy every second I have on this planet. I will strive to make a positive difference in my life and in other’s lives. Time will force forward and I will grab its sturdy hand and waltz. And when it all ends I would love to be able to look back and say “That was beautiful and that was fun.”
Julio Iglesias is not my Father.
I have really enjoyed spending time with my Father on a weekly basis. It seems I always have something interesting to share each time I am here. When I arrived here tonight, I decided to call my Mother to see how she was doing, she was recently in the Hospital and now home doing much better. As I spoke to her my Dad asked me to hand him the phone when I was done, so that he could see how she was doing. I gave him the phone and the nicest conversation began. They caught up on each other's lives, my Father excitingly informed her of his new relationship, asked about my brother and sisters (not his biologically) which he boasted he loves as his own, and they exchanged other pleasantries. It was an overall pleasant conversation between old friends.
I thought back to the few years my Mother and Father were not getting along. A time where she was still hurt by his deception and disloyalty. I stopped seeing my Father at the age of four. By the time I started grade school I had no idea who my Father was. Actually, I thought I knew who my Father was. One day I was looking through my Mother’s record collection and asked her who the man on the cover was. She replied “Your Father.” And from that day forward I believed whole heartedly that Julio Iglesias was my Father. I didn’t have Santa, but I had Julio. It was the family gag that I wasn’t in on, I would tell everyone I met. People at my church (Kingdom Hall,) teachers at school, you name it. They all thought I was sooo cute. After some time the stories died down, but I was still a hard core believer in the Julio Iglesias Father belief. One night I repeated the infamous words “My Dad” as I sat alone in the living room going through my “Father’s” pictures on the record covers. My sister Maggie overheard and was apparently shocked. She yelled “Mom! He still believes that! Tell him the truth!” My sister didn’t wait; she told me the truth about my fantasy Dad, the Dad I would spend hours listening to and staring at on the front of those record covers. I was distraught and pleaded to my Mother to tell me who my Father was. She attempted to remind me, but there was nothing to remember, I had forgotten.
She decided to put aside her anger and take me to New York to see this man. I was eight years old, aching to have a paternal figure in my life. We went to Catalina and Jose’s house, family friends, to meet him. I eagerly waited by the door, and then came the knock. My heart was racing, I didn’t know what to expect. And when the door opened there he was with his arms wide open and without a moment of hesitation, despite this being the “first time” seeing him I ran to him. He was just as exited as I was, and just as happy.
From that point forward the trips to New York and his trips to Massachusetts were a regular occurrence. And I noticed something, my Parents were becoming friends. So much so that when we would go visit New York City it was at his place we would stay, and when he came to visit me he would stay with us. People may have thought there was something going on, but my Mother didn’t care, and when my Father had girlfriends that would object to this arrangement he would show them the door. We were his family and we came first. To this day they remain good friends. When my Mother lived in the same area as my Father a few years ago, and I was still in California, my Father would go visit her just to check up on her. Did he have to? The kid is full grown but the appreciation is still there as demonstrated in the kind words expressed tonight on that phone call.
My Parents are not without fault, but they are good people whose actions have taught me a great deal. What have I learned from this? Life is too short to hold grudges. Past mistakes don't have to make it impossible to change the present or future of your relationships. The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to dismantle your family. I see this in action with other members in my family as well. I have much admiration of the relationship my sister has with her Ex-Husband; they too have had the maturity to establish such a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has the maturity level to accomplish such actions, but it is nice to know it can be done.
Not all of life’s lessons are spelled out, keep your eyes open, there is beauty and knowledge in the actions of the wise.
I thought back to the few years my Mother and Father were not getting along. A time where she was still hurt by his deception and disloyalty. I stopped seeing my Father at the age of four. By the time I started grade school I had no idea who my Father was. Actually, I thought I knew who my Father was. One day I was looking through my Mother’s record collection and asked her who the man on the cover was. She replied “Your Father.” And from that day forward I believed whole heartedly that Julio Iglesias was my Father. I didn’t have Santa, but I had Julio. It was the family gag that I wasn’t in on, I would tell everyone I met. People at my church (Kingdom Hall,) teachers at school, you name it. They all thought I was sooo cute. After some time the stories died down, but I was still a hard core believer in the Julio Iglesias Father belief. One night I repeated the infamous words “My Dad” as I sat alone in the living room going through my “Father’s” pictures on the record covers. My sister Maggie overheard and was apparently shocked. She yelled “Mom! He still believes that! Tell him the truth!” My sister didn’t wait; she told me the truth about my fantasy Dad, the Dad I would spend hours listening to and staring at on the front of those record covers. I was distraught and pleaded to my Mother to tell me who my Father was. She attempted to remind me, but there was nothing to remember, I had forgotten.
She decided to put aside her anger and take me to New York to see this man. I was eight years old, aching to have a paternal figure in my life. We went to Catalina and Jose’s house, family friends, to meet him. I eagerly waited by the door, and then came the knock. My heart was racing, I didn’t know what to expect. And when the door opened there he was with his arms wide open and without a moment of hesitation, despite this being the “first time” seeing him I ran to him. He was just as exited as I was, and just as happy.
From that point forward the trips to New York and his trips to Massachusetts were a regular occurrence. And I noticed something, my Parents were becoming friends. So much so that when we would go visit New York City it was at his place we would stay, and when he came to visit me he would stay with us. People may have thought there was something going on, but my Mother didn’t care, and when my Father had girlfriends that would object to this arrangement he would show them the door. We were his family and we came first. To this day they remain good friends. When my Mother lived in the same area as my Father a few years ago, and I was still in California, my Father would go visit her just to check up on her. Did he have to? The kid is full grown but the appreciation is still there as demonstrated in the kind words expressed tonight on that phone call.
My Parents are not without fault, but they are good people whose actions have taught me a great deal. What have I learned from this? Life is too short to hold grudges. Past mistakes don't have to make it impossible to change the present or future of your relationships. The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to dismantle your family. I see this in action with other members in my family as well. I have much admiration of the relationship my sister has with her Ex-Husband; they too have had the maturity to establish such a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has the maturity level to accomplish such actions, but it is nice to know it can be done.
Not all of life’s lessons are spelled out, keep your eyes open, there is beauty and knowledge in the actions of the wise.
Welcome to my Momentary Glimpse.
Well I have decided to join the World of blogging. Here I am ready to write what's on my mind. In case you are wondering why I call my blog Ruben's Momentary Glimpse, I derived the name from a very famous quote by Carl Sagan "Life is but a momentary glimpse of this astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy."
I hope you enjoy my future blogs. I think I will start off by posting some of my old stuff I have up on other sites. Then on with the show!
That’s it for now, don’t get all excited people, this was just an intro. ;)
I hope you enjoy my future blogs. I think I will start off by posting some of my old stuff I have up on other sites. Then on with the show!
That’s it for now, don’t get all excited people, this was just an intro. ;)
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