Who gives a fuck? Why help Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses?

Since 2006 I have spent a considerable amount of time helping persons that have left the Jehovah's Witness organization find support. It all started with a group on MySpace called "Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery Group." Many of my closest friends today I met through that group, including my wife Emily. There have been three incarnations of that group due to the fact the first one was taken off from MySpace, and the second was abandoned for the third on Facebook. I also started a YouTube page called "Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Speak Out," where I post short segments of conversations I have with Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses when my wife and I meet them at different venues. We are not as involved in these activities as much as we were in the past, but we continue to do what we can.

Believe it or not, many of us who do this have been criticized for spending our time helping others with their transition out of this high control group. I have received comments such as "Who gives a fuck?" "Why don't you just let it go?" "Why can't you respect their Religion?" So on and so forth. For all those that think it’s a waste of time to open your heart to persons that genuinely need a friend. For all those who feel it is not helpful to confide in a person that has been in your particular position. Please take a minute to read the following message addressed to my wife Emily by someone we care about very much.

“Have I ever told you how special you are to me Emily? In case I haven't...Let me explain…sweetie…

When I first discovered facebook and the exjw groups, I pretty much opened up about all the pain of my moms rejection of me after I disassociated myself…yada…yada...yada…I was really depressed...borderline suicidal, which I go through at least once a year or so.

I did not know you from Adam, and sweetie…and you picked up on it INSTANTLY....you invited me to not only come to your house...but you even offered to pick me up at the station, and said I could spend the night. My goodness Emily I coulda been a serial killer.

You just went on your vibe and were so open to me…I'll love you forever because of that sweetie!

I used to associate that kind of generosity of spirit, and selfless loving concern (EXCLUSIVELY) with the JWs!!

I seriously thought that no non JW would ever be so loving and open and generous without expecting something in return!
I know better now hon…

I thought that my exjw childhood girlfriends were sweet to me because they had known me forever! But Emily you and Ruben had never ever met me...not even on the phone!
Just want you to know that hon...

People like you make believers out of me. The kind of belief I value and cherish…the selfless goodness that comes from living a bullshit free life!”

Need I say more?

Letter to my Ex-Wife

I found my first ex-wife on Facebook and sent her a message. It was something I wanted to tell her for some time but wasn't able to since we lost all touch over five years ago. This was my message to her. It was written in Spanish and I have translated it for this blog.

Hello ____:

I am not going to send you a “friend request” nor do I expect a response. I just wanted to send you this message. I am not the same person I was, I have the same heart, but I am not the same. I have matured and recognized many things about myself and events in my life. The past is the past, and in regards to our broken marriage I recognize the errors I committed as well. Our reasons for getting married were invalid. I should’ve realized it was a bad idea to marry you from the start and not let myself be swayed by my desperation of getting married. There were many signs indicating that it was a bad idea, and because of a combination of hormones, culpability, and obligation I ignored them. I apologize; I was young and ignorant of many things. I am not excusing the way you treated me, the things you did and said hurt, it was not necessary to go about it in such a manner. However, looking back I understand your desperation and I recognize that you were young (very young) and ignorant in regards to many things as well. Not everything is black and white ____, I no longer see the world that way. I want you to know that I have no bad sentiment, nor resentment for what happened. As they say in English “We didn’t know any better.”

I live in Connecticut, not too far from my family. I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with them that I didn’t have before. I also have found love. My wife and I love each other very much and she is my best friend. I am so very happy. Your tenacity started a chain reaction that ultimately brought me to where I am today. For that a thousand thanks.

Well if you desire my door is always open to you, if you would like to say hello, I am here, if not “no problem!” As I stated in the beginning, I don’t expect a response. I hope you are happy and I desire the best for your beautiful daughter that I see on your profile picture and for David if you are still together.

Ruben Ortiz