Julio Iglesias is not my Father.

I have really enjoyed spending time with my Father on a weekly basis. It seems I always have something interesting to share each time I am here. When I arrived here tonight, I decided to call my Mother to see how she was doing, she was recently in the Hospital and now home doing much better. As I spoke to her my Dad asked me to hand him the phone when I was done, so that he could see how she was doing. I gave him the phone and the nicest conversation began. They caught up on each other's lives, my Father excitingly informed her of his new relationship, asked about my brother and sisters (not his biologically) which he boasted he loves as his own, and they exchanged other pleasantries. It was an overall pleasant conversation between old friends.

I thought back to the few years my Mother and Father were not getting along. A time where she was still hurt by his deception and disloyalty. I stopped seeing my Father at the age of four. By the time I started grade school I had no idea who my Father was. Actually, I thought I knew who my Father was. One day I was looking through my Mother’s record collection and asked her who the man on the cover was. She replied “Your Father.” And from that day forward I believed whole heartedly that Julio Iglesias was my Father. I didn’t have Santa, but I had Julio. It was the family gag that I wasn’t in on, I would tell everyone I met. People at my church (Kingdom Hall,) teachers at school, you name it. They all thought I was sooo cute. After some time the stories died down, but I was still a hard core believer in the Julio Iglesias Father belief. One night I repeated the infamous words “My Dad” as I sat alone in the living room going through my “Father’s” pictures on the record covers. My sister Maggie overheard and was apparently shocked. She yelled “Mom! He still believes that! Tell him the truth!” My sister didn’t wait; she told me the truth about my fantasy Dad, the Dad I would spend hours listening to and staring at on the front of those record covers. I was distraught and pleaded to my Mother to tell me who my Father was. She attempted to remind me, but there was nothing to remember, I had forgotten.

She decided to put aside her anger and take me to New York to see this man. I was eight years old, aching to have a paternal figure in my life. We went to Catalina and Jose’s house, family friends, to meet him. I eagerly waited by the door, and then came the knock. My heart was racing, I didn’t know what to expect. And when the door opened there he was with his arms wide open and without a moment of hesitation, despite this being the “first time” seeing him I ran to him. He was just as exited as I was, and just as happy.

From that point forward the trips to New York and his trips to Massachusetts were a regular occurrence. And I noticed something, my Parents were becoming friends. So much so that when we would go visit New York City it was at his place we would stay, and when he came to visit me he would stay with us. People may have thought there was something going on, but my Mother didn’t care, and when my Father had girlfriends that would object to this arrangement he would show them the door. We were his family and we came first. To this day they remain good friends. When my Mother lived in the same area as my Father a few years ago, and I was still in California, my Father would go visit her just to check up on her. Did he have to? The kid is full grown but the appreciation is still there as demonstrated in the kind words expressed tonight on that phone call.

My Parents are not without fault, but they are good people whose actions have taught me a great deal. What have I learned from this? Life is too short to hold grudges. Past mistakes don't have to make it impossible to change the present or future of your relationships. The end of a romantic relationship doesn't have to dismantle your family. I see this in action with other members in my family as well. I have much admiration of the relationship my sister has with her Ex-Husband; they too have had the maturity to establish such a relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone has the maturity level to accomplish such actions, but it is nice to know it can be done.

Not all of life’s lessons are spelled out, keep your eyes open, there is beauty and knowledge in the actions of the wise.