Thoughts 9/14/09

I look back and my memories seem so close and so distant at the same time. I can recall playing with a transformer at 10 and falling in love at 20 and I can feel what I felt at those moments. I can grasp that toy and make him more than meets the eye or feel her lips for the first time as lighting strikes me. I can travel in time like a god or an advanced being and relive the joy and sorrows of my past. I can be there in an instant and yet feel so far away from now. I can even look forward to the future and create scenarios that can lead to desired results. However, even with all this power I cannot stop the hand of time forever forcing forward obligating my existence to oblivion. My body responds to this push showing signs of wearing as my mind copes with an increase of clarity and an ability to use my time traveling ability in a more beneficial manner. I can learn from the past and peak forward to the future with discernment and an ability to avoid the same pitfalls. No one lives forever and this gift is also as temporary as my existence.

Many people ponder the meaning of life. Meaning of life? As humans we have developed the aptitude to ask this question. But is that the right question? What meaning can anything we know that exists have when it is fleeting? What was the meaning of the life of King Tyrannosaurus that ruled the Earth millions of years ago or the butterfly that flew by your window a year ago? Maybe the question should be “What should we do with our lives now that we have true power?” From stars to bugs it all comes to an end. Life is short and we could make it a wonder or a horror. We are the directors of our lives and it’s sad to see so many wasting it by buying into the illusion that they are powerless and without the ability to work collectively towards a better tomorrow for all the powerful beings that roam on the surface of this planet.

I cried tonight. I have cried in the past usually about some problem or some other selfish issue I had my hand in that hurt me enough to cause that reaction. Tonight was different. I cried tears of joy. I am happy with my life. I have family, friends, and a significant other that truly loves me for who I am. And most importantly I love myself. Will I have this forever? No. It could end a week from now or 70 years from now. I can lose it all in an instant either by death or by my own stupidity if I am not careful. But at this moment I am living and breathing a shared creation. What should I do with my life now that I have this power? Enjoy every second I have on this planet. I will strive to make a positive difference in my life and in other’s lives. Time will force forward and I will grab its sturdy hand and waltz. And when it all ends I would love to be able to look back and say “That was beautiful and that was fun.”