Since 2006 I have spent a considerable amount of time helping persons that have left the Jehovah's Witness organization find support. It all started with a group on MySpace called "Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery Group." Many of my closest friends today I met through that group, including my wife Emily. There have been three incarnations of that group due to the fact the first one was taken off from MySpace, and the second was abandoned for the third on Facebook. I also started a YouTube page called "Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Speak Out," where I post short segments of conversations I have with Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses when my wife and I meet them at different venues. We are not as involved in these activities as much as we were in the past, but we continue to do what we can.
Believe it or not, many of us who do this have been criticized for spending our time helping others with their transition out of this high control group. I have received comments such as "Who gives a fuck?" "Why don't you just let it go?" "Why can't you respect their Religion?" So on and so forth. For all those that think it’s a waste of time to open your heart to persons that genuinely need a friend. For all those who feel it is not helpful to confide in a person that has been in your particular position. Please take a minute to read the following message addressed to my wife Emily by someone we care about very much.
“Have I ever told you how special you are to me Emily? In case I haven't...Let me explain…sweetie…
When I first discovered facebook and the exjw groups, I pretty much opened up about all the pain of my moms rejection of me after I disassociated myself…yada…yada...yada…I was really depressed...borderline suicidal, which I go through at least once a year or so.
I did not know you from Adam, and sweetie…and you picked up on it INSTANTLY....you invited me to not only come to your house...but you even offered to pick me up at the station, and said I could spend the night. My goodness Emily I coulda been a serial killer.
You just went on your vibe and were so open to me…I'll love you forever because of that sweetie!
I used to associate that kind of generosity of spirit, and selfless loving concern (EXCLUSIVELY) with the JWs!!
I seriously thought that no non JW would ever be so loving and open and generous without expecting something in return!
I know better now hon…
I thought that my exjw childhood girlfriends were sweet to me because they had known me forever! But Emily you and Ruben had never ever met me...not even on the phone!
Just want you to know that hon...
People like you make believers out of me. The kind of belief I value and cherish…the selfless goodness that comes from living a bullshit free life!”
Need I say more?
I also was surprised, after leaving the JW's 10 years ago, that former JW's were just as kind, empathetic, helpful and just plain good as I once imagined JW's were. But former JW's are better because their concern and care is for you as the person who's gone through the same trying experience. It is just not the same as the enforced unity inside the Witnesses, although I must say there are some really good people trapped in there (but they won't talk to me now).
ReplyDeleteAn ex-Scientologist saved me from myself when I was booted from the Borg. The only thing he asked of me was that I do the same for others in the same boat. To me, it's a "moral obligation" or "kharmic debt". It's certainly not a hardship to provide an emotional (and sometimes physical) safety net for those in whose shoes I have also walked. And, truth be told, I often gain as much if not more from those who let me share in a bit of their personal journey from cult life to freedom.
ReplyDelete