Letter to my Ex-Wife

I found my first ex-wife on Facebook and sent her a message. It was something I wanted to tell her for some time but wasn't able to since we lost all touch over five years ago. This was my message to her. It was written in Spanish and I have translated it for this blog.

Hello ____:

I am not going to send you a “friend request” nor do I expect a response. I just wanted to send you this message. I am not the same person I was, I have the same heart, but I am not the same. I have matured and recognized many things about myself and events in my life. The past is the past, and in regards to our broken marriage I recognize the errors I committed as well. Our reasons for getting married were invalid. I should’ve realized it was a bad idea to marry you from the start and not let myself be swayed by my desperation of getting married. There were many signs indicating that it was a bad idea, and because of a combination of hormones, culpability, and obligation I ignored them. I apologize; I was young and ignorant of many things. I am not excusing the way you treated me, the things you did and said hurt, it was not necessary to go about it in such a manner. However, looking back I understand your desperation and I recognize that you were young (very young) and ignorant in regards to many things as well. Not everything is black and white ____, I no longer see the world that way. I want you to know that I have no bad sentiment, nor resentment for what happened. As they say in English “We didn’t know any better.”

I live in Connecticut, not too far from my family. I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with them that I didn’t have before. I also have found love. My wife and I love each other very much and she is my best friend. I am so very happy. Your tenacity started a chain reaction that ultimately brought me to where I am today. For that a thousand thanks.

Well if you desire my door is always open to you, if you would like to say hello, I am here, if not “no problem!” As I stated in the beginning, I don’t expect a response. I hope you are happy and I desire the best for your beautiful daughter that I see on your profile picture and for David if you are still together.

Ruben Ortiz