My problem with some of the Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Groups

I have created and moderated an Ex-Jehovah’s Witness group with the intention of aiding those who have either left or are leaving the Jehovah’s Witness Religion for the last four years. It has been a tremendous help for the active members to assemble online and discuss issues with others that have gone through the same difficult process. The first two groups were on MySpace, and the latest version can be found on Facebook.

The Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Groups on the Internet have grown in number over the past few years. You can find them everywhere now. You have JWD on Jehovahs-Witness.net, tons of groups on Facebook / MySpace like Watchtower Uncensored, websites like Six Screens of the Watchtower, and Christianwitnesses.com. Some of these groups have conference calls with the intention of reaching ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and those who are out who are on the fence with their faith.

All of these venues and many more have aided many in their recovery. However, I do find a huge fault in many of them. Many of those looking to assist the ex-Jehovah’s Witness do so with the intention of ministering to them. Their way of helping another recover is to insist that their perspective is the only one worth examining. I think that’s a bad approach.

I see what many of them have to say and I ask myself What? How are you helping them when you are doing the exact same thing the Witnesses do?

I listen to some of these conference calls, and I ask myself Am I listening to a public discourse at a Kingdom Hall? They still use the same terms, and in their discussions show signs of holding the same type of mentality the Jehovah’s Witnesses have. Calling each other “brother” and “sister” on a call. Why is the same loaded language being used? Are you trying to appeal to those that are Witnesses by showing them you are no different then they are? What message are you sending?

So many of these ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses are so consumed with their new religious perspectives, that they cannot offer aide without resorting to evangelism. The only answer is their answer, the only way to go, once out of the Watchtower organization, is their way. You may ask, what's wrong with that? These Ex-Witnesses looking for support are vulnerable, and for them to be told “this is how you should think” is not fair. How are they to grow when they are not encouraged to come to their own conclusions?

I am not saying one shouldn’t share their perspective on life, the universe, our origins, God, etc. We all do it. These matters are extremely important and should be discussed. We should make threads and topics of discussions where people can share their ideas and even debate them. That is great! The problem arises when you make it your prerogative to convert a person to your worldview in a forum intended to help them out of a High Control group. When you do this, not only are you showing how little you have changed from your Jehovah peddling days, you are also stifling their development as persons free from the control of the Watchtower Society.

The objective should be to present the facts about this organization, and to help these ex-members develop critical thinking skills through discussion, to help them learn to think for themselves. To show empathy to another person that is going through something you may have gone through at one time. To send the message “you are not alone!” To show them that one could be happy after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses and that it is a lie when they say that is not possible. And so much more.

The object shouldn’t be to throw them into another group that claims exclusivity in the same manner they were manipualted into the one they are attempting to break free of.