For a community I love. Even if you hate me.

There are two sides to every story, maybe three, maybe four or five. Somewhere between all of them is a story that is the closest to accurate. A story you can confirm by knowing all the fact. Sometimes all it takes is time for those facts to come to light. Sometimes it takes being in the middle of it. Other times, all you really have to know is what a person ultimately does.

Why do I bring this up? For more than ten years I've been involved with a community that has gone from unknown to a very active bunch of individuals giving much of their time and effort helping others who were once part of an organization that held them captive in one sense or another. Some of these individuals sacrifice their time and energy for a cause they really believe in. These acts are wonderful. The lives they help save are so precious. However, this type of activism comes with a price. It comes with a target on your head. A target you would figure came from the organization you're protesting. Sometimes it does, but most of them are too busy avoiding you. Your biggest critics tend to be those you're trying to assist.

Here is where the statement I started with comes in play. A common occurrence is a type of online mob mentality that overcomes individuals whose heart is in the right place but fail to consider that a story given by one person about their strife and complaints about another is just one angle, one story. Instead of listening with empathy (which you can always do), a retaliation for that person you hold dear takes place, without even knowing the whole story, without even being part of what had occurred. I have to admit, I used to get sucked into these type of debacles. When attacked online by others I would jump into my own defense. I would defend myself by giving my side. It was like adding fuel to a fire. Publicly engaging in such fights was me trying to clear my name, and of course, it's only human nature to want to do so especially if your name is being publicly slandered.

I no longer am so easily sucked into those types of situations (not saying it never happens). I do my best to avoid them like the plague. I've seen my name smeared. I've been talked down about. I’ve been called all kinds of ugly things. However, my online activities have been so much more peaceful ever since I have consciously made the effort to resolve matters in private, or just plain ignore them, rather than make public retribution. My actions will say more about me than anything. And if you are in this to help others, then why waste your time with those that have no clue what really happened or take the time to learn why you do things the way you do? With time it all comes out. I can't tell you how many times just waiting and taking care of my own business has made haters into pals. Your actions will scream your motives. If your motive is to be a helper than you keep pushing forward and you continue to help. If your manner of helping is not satisfying to someone else, then you give them space to do better.

The important thing is not to be the best, the important thing is to give your best. Use what you know works and if someone can find a better way then you support it. If you don't agree with someone, how about just going your own way? How about being candid with others and agreeing that the best thing for everyone in your community is to act in a kind manner and not take actions that will create mobs of one side vs another? Being a helper is important work and I know everyone has benefited from all the helpers out there. One helper may not be helping in a way you agree with or do not understand, but I guarantee you another one is. I would rather see them go somewhere else for assistance then to see them point a finger and say, "They were right about those people."

We're in this together. My plea is: Before taking sides think about the greater good. Before calling out people publicly ask, "Is it worth it?"

Sagan: Year Three 2015

May 4, 2015

Dear Sagan,

You are three today. I couldn’t be any more proud. You continue to develop beautifully. It amazes me the amount of learning that happens in a year. Words have evolved into sentences, tantrums into verbal communication, and baby features into little boy features.

This year was our first full year not living full time under one roof. Moving out to live some distance from you was the hardest thing I have ever done. At first, I was dreadfully depressed. I felt like a piece of my heart was yanked out. The thought that agonized me was that I had become my Father; the Dad that lived in the city, and you, like me as a child, lived some distance away in a more rural area. I vowed to be there for you. I vowed to never miss my arranged time with you. I vowed to continue supporting you financially. Even though I kept those promises, I felt an emptiness.  I’d flood the space with the distractions, but it would always drain. The emptiness was only filled when we were together.  

Despite your short time here, you continue to be a great teacher. You adjusted quicker than any of us. No matter where you were in your development, no matter the days that went by until I picked you up, you always acted as no time had passed, you were always ready to go, and you always showed me love. Thank you for being my strength and loving me so much.

As time progressed things became easier. Your mother and I continued to build our parent and parent relationship. I am grateful of her care of you. She’s a great person and an incredible mother. I am also grateful your mother and I are friends, to the point we attend family functions together like Christmas and Easter. The reason we are where we are today is kindness. Demonstrating kindness is not always easy, Sagan, but I assure you it works better in the long run. Demonstrating kindness is like a strong constant stream of water. Water alone isn’t much, the occasional drip won’t make much of a dent; however, you can do almost anything with a strong, consistent, steady stream of water. Being steadfast in your kindness can be powerful, it can move things, it can change things, and oh the things you can create. You can even create a new kind of relationship when one has to end. Our kindness got us here; it has created the optimal circumstance of your parents getting along.

This year you met someone very close to me. This past year I continued to get to know Amneris and eventually we became an official couple. I am glad you got to know her. She was there supporting me through all my sadness. She grew to care about you, and desired to meet you. On Thanksgiving Day you were able to meet each other. You shared a sweet moment in my cousin’s home where you played with toys together. Thank you for being such a wonderful boy to someone that means so much to me.

I love that we can now communicate better. You are so much happier now that you are able to verbalize certain things. It always seemed you hated being a baby, in that baby body. Now you’re like, woo-hooo! You’re a very smart boy and I am so excited to see what this next year will bring. I got a sneak peak when you recently decided to read the word Roku on my screen and spell it. “R-O-K-U, roookuuu!” I was floored. You were born when the first Avengers movie premiered, and you are already spelling. You amaze me! You make me appreciate life so much more because I see the potential of humanity in you, and it’s a beautiful thing. The love I have for you is something I’ve never experienced, noting else compares. I look forward to the little boy you will become. I look forward to our many adventures. I look forward to our bond growing as well. This unlimited love will just grow. Three cheers to this upcoming year. Sagan age three.

With Love Your Dad,

Ruben Ortiz Jr. 

Love Endures

I created and administrate a support group for former Jehovah's Witnesses called Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery 3! found on Facebook. Since 2006 we have helped hundreds of people come to a place of healing by bringing the following words to life: You Are Not Alone. I occasionally receive personal messages from people who do not want to make their identities public. They often ask me to post certain questions to other members or ask the group for feedback on certain issues. I thought I received this kind of message today when a message came in asking me to post something anonymously. To my pleasant surprise, it wasn't the usual kind of request.

A young man asked me to post the image of a note he received from his thirteen year old niece with the following message to the group: "My 13yo baptized niece snuck this note to me. Summary: I miss talking to you...favorite uncle...I love you. I'm left speechless. Thumbs up to her for her seemingly small but incredibly brave act. I love you too!" Here is the image. 

This generated comments from other members that ranged from sadness to hope. Sadness because a thirteen year old young person is not allowed to speak to her excommunicated uncle for religious reasons. As a baptized member of the congregation she risks excommunication for communicating with him. This young person risks losing contact with her whole world. If her parents found out, she would have to live with their disappointment. There were also hopeful comments. This young person was willing to risk her relationship with her family and the people of the congregation to send a message to her excommunicated uncle. If she thought excommunication was positive, there would be no note, no attempted contact, nothing. Her actions are speaking here, and it's saying "I love you, no matter what."


Christopher K. Young one of the other admins in the group made a very good comparison.

These high control groups, these cults, can never vanquish the core person that resides simultaneously with the fabricated cult personality indoctrinated into the minds of these people. I'm confident this young person will see how unloving this organization is someday. This note is a reflection of who she really is, a young person with a beautiful heart. I commend her for breaking the rules and taking the risk despite the culture of fear.

Much love to all the Jehovah's Witnesses who practice kindness above coercion, and who demonstrate love above hate. Keep questioning, keep defying the Watchtower, and keep learning. To all you very young Jehovah's Witnesses too scared or unable to do something now, know there is a group of Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses that are willing to give you support once you are able to act on your own.

Sagan's Birthday Year Two 2014

Sagan,

I have been writing you a birthday blog in the form of a letter every year. In a few days you will be two years old. This is my third letter. As you were getting older I received many solicited and unsolicited opinions from different parents. Some said I would miss you being a newborn, others gave stern warning about how challenging it would be when you grew to be a toddler. Challenging it definitely is; however, I see the glee in your eyes now that you can do so much more. You're free from the helpless prison your body had you in as as a baby. You are a very active toddler, and a very smart one. Part of your development is to challenge the establishment, namely us your parents. So yes, sometimes you throw yourself on the ground in the tantrumest of tantrums. You're not even two yet and you have already challenged us many times. I find it amazing that this is so integral to the development of a human being. Your mother and I, as challenging as it can be, understand this process is necessary. We give you your space to experience it. As always, you are a teacher, and as always, despite the occasional rise against the parents, you are very good boy.

There is one more thing I'd like to document for your future eyes and wonderful heart. This is the year I moved out of the house, the year your mother and I went our separate ways. In fact, the day after your 2nd birthday party will be the day I move into my new apartment. It is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. When I was a child, your Grandfather did not live with me. When he'd come visit and he'd have to go home my heart would break into a thousand pieces. I would cry and cry. The hole I felt in my heart ran deep. I would hyperventilate as I sobbed. As a child I decided this is something I would never subject any of my future children to. I would dream of having the family I never had, Mom, Dad, and son. When I tell you that my move this year is the most difficult thing I have ever done, it is no exaggeration. The child I was, the broken hearted hyperventilating child is currently making an occasional appearance in my heart. I cry and cry. The endless hole reappears. This is not what I wanted for us. I feel like I failed you, yet I know these feelings are not true. I know things will get better. I know that I will not fail you. I know that life is more than just my dream and more than what I want. It's just how I feel. My inner child cries for his dream, he cries for you. I want you to know that this is not your fault. People change. Circumstances change. Your mother and I love you with all our hearts. We both sacrifice for you. Your mother loves you deeply, and I will always love her deeply for the type of mother she is to you. We will work together to raise you to be the best person you can be. Our relationship may have changed, but our deep love and commitment to you is something we will always have in common. You both are forever my family.

Happy Birthday, Sagan. Welcome to the rest of your life. I can't wait to see what this year will bring. I am sure you will continue to surprise us, enlighten us, and occasionally drive us crazy. I look forward to watching you grow. I look forward to our time together. I promise to be the best Dad I can be. Until next year. Oh and "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Love,


Dad

P.S. Ask me about your obsession with Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars (2006) when you're older. Holy shit, Sagan! :) 

My Mortal Enemy And My Loyal Companion

I fight you with joy, and drown you with distractions.  The battle is won, but the war is really never over. Like a virus not completely beaten, you come back stronger. You may take another form, another circumstance; nevertheless, you inevitably return. Like a black hole, light does not escape your gravity. You take everything. I am forced to seek the sun in order to make it rise again. I find the sun and it gives light and warmth to my stage. The projector resumes. Some players keep playing, some disappear, others never come back. How long will it last this time? The birds chirp, the flowers bloom, and the snow melts. I enjoy the season. I enjoy every minute of it. I soak in the beauty of it. It gives me strength. It prepares me for your return. We dance again. We fight again. You're my mortal enemy and a loyal companion.

Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Younger Ruben Ortiz,

I write this to you knowing you will never read it. It may be of interest to your future son someday, or some other young person. Ruben, the most constant thing in your life will be change. You will become someone you never imagined you'd be. The world is not as black and white as you think, there is so much more grey than you can ever imagine. There will be matters you will open up to, that you never dreamed you'd accept. Life will bless you, yet it will present some challenges that will pummel you. These experiences will shape you; they will empower you, and at other times humble you. Amazing moments are coming your way. Cherish every single one of them. Keep them in your heart as a reserve fuel. Think of them when times become difficult, when you lose someone you love, when you lose a friend, when you have to start over, whenever you're in pain. I promise that with every loss, there is a reward because you learn to fight for them. One day, you'll have a calling, something you'd never expected to have. You will not consider it a calling from God; you will consider it a calling from your humanity, from your sense of responsibility. It will bring you great joy, and it will bring you lots of love. Many individuals will be tacked on to your list of friends and family who already mean so much to you. You will cry out, "You are not alone," and it will be true of you. Continue to grow in knowledge, be kind, and above all let love be evident in all you do. I have a feeling in whatever place we find ourselves in time, we're going to be okay.

 

Sincerely,

Future Ruben Ortiz.

Sagan Year 2013

Sagan,

One year ago our lives changed forever. Into our hearts and home came this little man as helpless as can be completely dependent on his mother and father to care for him. When you were growing inside your mother I'd often daydream about all the lessons we were going to teach you. Little did I know that you were going to be teaching us the lessons first. You were named after a very influential thinker and scientist, Carl Sagan. He was a man of great wisdom. The name Sagan itself means wisdom. We chose the middle name Anand because it means bliss. A source of wisdom and bliss you certainly are. I'd like to share a few things I learned from you this past year:

1. Parents are ministers.

I learned what the word minister really means. A newborn baby is dependent on you for everything. You don't have to be religious to be in servitude to someone else. Sure we are your guardians, but as your guardians it is our job to care for you. This takes humility and patience. Characteristics you helped us beef up.

2. You'll make big moves when you're good and ready.

A developing human will make their next move when they are good and ready. Your body dictated when you were ready to sit up, chew food, crawl, etc. These things happened when they were going to happen. We all had to wait, even you. I think this applies to more than your physical development. Before you started walking on your own, we knew you could. We caught you a few times taking a step or two on your own. As many times as we encouraged you to walk, even though you could, you waited until it felt right for you. I won't forget this lesson. I will give you space and time when you are making important decisions.

3. Find joy in the little things.

One morning I saw you blissfully playing with the most simple household object. You were so happy. What the hell is wrong with us adults that cannot find joy in the simple things? Thanks for the reminder kid.

4. Happiness is contagious.

You exemplify this term. You laugh with us even if you don't know what's going on. I will carry this with me. I will always try to give others the happy bug. As our friend Raven is always going on about with good reason, "mirror neurons!" I learned that a happy baby just doesn't get hugs, kisses, praise, etc. A happy baby comes from a home of happy people.

5. Your mother deserves deep gratitude and respect.

You taught me that your mother is tough as nails. From twenty-eight hours of labor to sleepless nights to breast feeding you up to now to every single sacrifice she has had to make to give you the best care. All this makes her a superwoman. She is to be revered and given the utmost respect. You are healthy and here because of her. I will always cherish her for this as I know you shall as well.

I love you Sagan. Thank you for your gifts. It may not always be easy to be a parent but it is rewarding when you see your child turning out so wonderfully. Happy first birthday my son.


Love,

Dad

The Story Of Sparlock

This is the story of Sparlock the Warrior Wizard,
A magnificent, magnanimous, wizard is he.

Sparlock was born in the deepest of space
From a planet where witches and warlocks
Are race.

Sparlock never had a mom and dad
Who was glad that he learned
Magic from those who weren't bad.

The freethinking warlocks from Zimbabeedoo
Found him crying aloud
In his crashed spacecraft tube.

Sparlock was sent to Wizardry School
Where he learned about magic, about science, about love.
Where he learned helping others was an ultimate hug.

Not all the warlocks and witches are good. 
In the scary, dark city called Sosyeti stood
What was called the Witchtower.
Spreading darkness as far as they could.

A plague on the planet the Witchtower is
They spread dread and fear
And they focus on kids.

With his fashionable wand
And a shield in hand
He battles these villains;
A thorn in their plans.

The Witchtower governing class spread lies
Attacking his magic
As a curse from the dark side.

But our hero will not rest
And our hero will fight.
He will fight though the day.
He will fight through the night.
Until the day comes
Awaited by all,
That wonderful day the Witchtower falls.

By: Ruben Ortiz
AKA Dr. Raifranss

Like Sparlock on Facebook (click link)

I promise you Sagan...

Dear Sagan,

You are days away from being born. I feel like I'm waiting for my wedding day except I don't know what day you're going to choose to show your head. I don't know who you will become or what kind of man you'll be someday. All I know is that you come from the two most important people in my life, your mother, and of course the person anyone should love the most, myself. It took billions of years for us to show up on the scene and here we are. You will become the part of my heart I leave to this world, along with some of my DNA I selfishly want to leave behind after I'm long gone. I would love to see that. Honestly, ever since I found out your mother was pregnant, my mortality has been staring me in the face. I will do the best I can to be there for you as long as I can.

There are many expressions you will hear in your life; idioms that have a figurative meaning. One very popular one is "Nobody's perfect." Some day, as I probably bore you with one of the many life lessons I will attempt to impress on you, I'll probably ask you what you think that means. Seriously, what the hell is perfection anyway? I think a better way of expressing that idea would be, "Everyone makes mistakes." And here's a heads up kid, your mother and I are no exception. We're going to make lots of them. It's part of being human and a much needed experience to have in many cases. Mistakes can help us grow. In some instances you will learn from the mistakes others make; in fact, you might want to shoot for as many of those as you can, especially the actions that have irreversible consequences. However, we all make them and I hope you keep that in mind when dealing with us, and we'll keep that in mind when we're dealing with you.

There are many promises I want to make you. Yes, there will be times that I will not come through or fuck up; nevertheless, I give you my word that I will do my best to keep them. I want to take this opportunity to share ten of the biggest ones:

1. I promise to always love you; unless you become the biggest asshole in the world and a scourge on this planet.

You are and will always be my son. I want you to know that your mother and I will always love you. The conditions are pretty damn high, unless you become the next Hitler, a serial killer, try to kill us, or some other crime towards humanity, point is we'll always be there for you. That's as close to unconditional as you can get. And if I still love you, even after you do something terrible like that, it doesn't make me a bad person, it makes me human.

2. I promise to respect you as a person despite your age.

Just because you are young doesn't mean you do not deserve respect. If I want you to respect us we must respect you. Part of that respect includes knowing when to discipline you, how to discipline you, learning age appropriate discipline, never intentionally hurting you physically, and learning when it's time to let you fly on your own.

3. I promise to trust you.

Trust is a very important part of any relationship. Just as I expect us to have mutual respect for each other, I will expect us to have mutual trust for one another. We both must earn it and recognize that certain actions can either build that trust or hurt it.

4. As much as it will probably pain me at a particular point, no matter how annoyed I become, I promise always to explain to the best of my ability the sometimes dreaded word a parent can hear hundreds of times a day: Why.

I remember using this word to the point that it possibly made your Grandmother's ears bleed. I hated, no, detested when in response I would simply hear "Because I said so." It drove me mad. I know she meant well, and believe me, she did a great job raising me but that was one of her mistakes. I really felt invalidated when told that. I do not want you to feel that way. I will do my best to explain why certain things are the way they are and why your mother and I expect you to follow certain rules. I will do my best.

5. I promise to place a huge emphasis on your education.

Growing up, neither my family nor your mother's family placed an emphasis on education. We grew up in a religion that placed more of an emphasis on worshiping a God than pursuing a higher education. School is crucial. College will be spoken about from the time you're an infant. Even if you decide to do something else with your life that doesn't require a higher education, you will be extorted to pursue one anyway, not as a means to detract you from your dream, but for you to have something to fall back on while you shoot for it.

6. I promise to love you no matter what your sexual orientation is.

Whatever your sexual orientation, straight, gay, bi-sexual, or trans-gender, you will always be a part of us. We will love you. This world can be a cruel place to those that are different. In our home, in our family, you will be loved beyond measure and we will love you and be proud of you now matter your sexual orientation.

7. I promise to expose you to different ideologies and respect the right you have to decide your worldview.

By the time you read this you may already know that your Dad is a non-believer and skeptic. I don't have a religion to teach you and plan to raise you in a secular home. Science will be used to answer many questions we have explanations for. However, I think it would be a great disservice not to expose you to at least some of the ideas out there. You have a right to learn them and come to your own conclusions. I plan to teach you what I have learned about religion, God, etc. And not only one side of the issue, but also speak to you on why people find hope in these. There is a rich history, at times grotesque, at times beautiful. I would like us to visit different churches, hear their thoughts from their own voices, and I look forward to hear your thoughts on what they have to say. I am sure that doing this will help you come to your own rational conclusions.

8. I promise I will do my best to not be overprotective.

Many of Dad's friends don't know this about me, but when it comes to kids, I'm like my mother, I'm a bit overprotective. I am a worry wart, ask your mother. Every time she feels ill, or if I don't hear from her when I am expecting to, etc. she will receive many phone calls from me. I begin to worry and all these scenarios run through my head. She is the only thing coming between me placing a GPS device on you. HA! You have my permission to call me out on that shit anytime I get all liberal on a subject. I will do my best to be age appropriate with my protective nature.

9.  I promise to celebrate any damn holiday with you that you want.

Your mother and I were not allowed to celebrate any holidays growing up. Now ain't that some shit? Not you kiddo! You're going to get to celebrate any holiday you want, from Halloween to Christmas, it will be a no holds bar open tradition fest in our home. We may place a different significance behind the holidays than other people; nevertheless, they will be our family tradition aimed at bringing us close together.

10. I promise to provide for you physically and financially to the best of my ability.

We're not rich and most likely never will be, but we will do our best to provide you with what you need, and if circumstances permit, more. One thing that we find important is eating good food. So prepare for your parents to be feeding you healthy foods. Junk food will be allowed at times but for the most part we're going to feed you the good stuff. Your health will be a priority as will be providing you with the essentials one needs to live a comfortable life.

There are many more promises I intend to make and keep Sagan, these are just a few. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to hold you. I can't wait to hug and kiss you. I can't wait to raise you. I loved you before you even existed. Just the idea of you filled my heart with joy, can you imagine what I will feel when I hold you in my arms? I think your mother is right, I think I'm going to cry like a little bitch. Someday I'll let you know if she was right.

Love,

Dad

The Office of Heaven

Hello. You have reached the office of heaven if you know the party you'd like to reach press 1 now. If you're looking for hell press 2 now. Para ayuda en español presione 2 ahora.

You selected the office of heaven. If this is correct press 1 now. If not press 2 now.

If you would like to speak to God press 1. Jesus 2. Allah please hang up and dial again, and select option 2.

You selected God. If this is correct press 1 now. If not press 2 now.

You have reached God. Please refer to the manual left to you by the ancients for any questions or concerns. Thank you for your call and have a nice day. Goodbye.

Pointing to the sun at night

My heart filled with pain, I hid from them. Strolling through the hall as a grunting zombie I would lift my arms to greet them, and squeeze their hands to meet them.

I attended the school of fools called servants, or was it slaves? Doesn't matter it's all the same. It was the day of my discarded marriage, the aborted day replaced with spoken garbage.

On my way home I was alone in a car filled with spiritual men. All had things to say about that great day, their egos were rocked. Recognized servants given special talks.

Straight to my room I fled. To my empty room with no bed. She had it all in what was to be our new place. I threw myself on to the ground and no thought could light up the darkness, the deep sadness that dwelled within me. I cried. My family tried to console me, but I was beyond help, beyond comfort.

That day I was provided no real light, no consolation, no loving insight. All I got were men in cheap suites pointing to the sun at night.

Jingle Bell Rock

The holiday season is at its close. Now when we go shopping, we will once again be listening to the music we are all used to hearing throughout the year. We can take a break from the bombardment of Holiday music. These songs are successful in inciting our emotions in one way or another. I am especially susceptible to one particular song: Jingle Bell Rock.

It was 1986 and I was in the fifth grade. The school had a holiday concert bash planned and each classroom in the school was going to perform a song. As a Jehovah’s Witness kid I was not allowed to participate. Up to that point I never felt I was missing out on celebrating the holidays. Unlike many other kids I knew that were in my situation, I could easily explain to you why I did not. I was the type of Jehovah’s Witness kid that would carry his Bible to school so that I could explain to my teacher why I could not salute the flag, “If you see here in Deuteronomy 4:15-20…” The Christmas explanation was a breeze. I had a lot of love in my house, from my mother and my siblings. Holidays or not I was a happy kid.

The day of the concert came and since I was not going to participate I was left with some activities to complete in the classroom. Our classroom was on the third floor of the school. Out of curiosity I walked over to the window and saw the set up they had on the playground. Then the singing began. I continued to watch and realized that I was the only person in the whole building. Everyone was outside. Once all the grades sang their songs, they all sang Jingle Bell Rock together. I loved the song! Listening to everyone sing it together was inspiring. That’s when I felt it. The one time in my whole childhood I felt I was missing out on the holidays was when I heard all those kids happily singing Jingle Bell Rock as I sat there alone.

When I hear Jingle Bell Rock today I am mentally transported to that moment to that feeling of being left out on what was just good clean fun because of a judgmental point of view that was inculcated by my church. At that one moment, I knew. It would not be until many years later that what I knew would be clear to me. Jingle Bell Rock reminds me of what the holidays are about, a celebration, a time for fun, and a time of giving. There is nothing wrong with choosing an occasion to share joy with others and there is no need to exclude yourself from it just because you disagree on the origins of such a celebration. Whether it was Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or any other good old fashioned winter solstice celebration, I hope you enjoyed yours.

Top 25 things I learned from watching Paranormal Activity (2007)

I saw Paranormal Activity (2007) for the first time a few days ago. I would like to share the top 25 things I learned while watching this movie.

25. Demons are invisible.
24. Demons bite – never knew that!
23. Micah has ugly feet.
22. “I trust you as far as I can throw you,” does not apply to demons.
21. Having a demon is like having a new born baby.
20. Demons close the door on your face just to knock on the outside.
19. Demons can be sensitive; they keep pictures from your childhood.
18. Demons live in the attic.
17. “I’m going to fucking solve the problem,” is a rational response to demons in your home.
16. Demons leave footprints, which is a good thing for demon hunters.
15. Micah is the worst boyfriend…EVER!
14. Demons will play and burn Ouija when you’re not around.
13. I didn’t buy it! I borrowed it! That is showing her!
12. If you talk in your sleep “I wouldn’t call it talking.”
11. Demons want to watch TV but each time they try they get static.
10. Even if you KNOW you have a demon, say “Who’s there?” every time.
9. Your concern for your camera comes first above all else, including your girlfriend.
8. Do whatever a condescending prick will tell you.
7. Demons like to leave keys on the middle of the floor.
6. Demons will make you stare at things.
5. Demons only come out at night, apparently they can’t handle sunlight.
4. “What is your quest? What is your favorite color?” These are acceptable questions to ask a demon.
3. Dump your girlfriend if she has a stalker demon.
2. Demons have nothing better to do.
1. Demons hate cameras more than the Amish do.

What a piece of shit movie!

An Anti-Theist I Am Not

Do I disagree with theism? Yes. Do I oppose it? Usually. Do I consider myself an anti-theist? No. An anti-theist I am not.

"Anti-theism is active and vocal opposition to belief in gods of any sort and to institutions built around belief in a deity. Anti-theists are not passive atheists; they delight in atheism and delight in exposing the errors, absurdities, and pretensions of theists."
http://www.skepdic.com/antitheism.html

This seems to summarize how anti-theism is generally defined.

Theism is a very broad term covering countless interpretations of God, being an anti-theist would place me in opposition to belief in gods of "any" sort, which I am not. The vaguer the definition of God a person gives and the less certain a person is with their belief, the less against it I find myself to be. To one person God may be the first cause, to another person the universe or nature, to another person it can be some unknown. Why would I have a problem with people investing belief in the concept when presented as such especially when they claim no certainty to it? What real harm could come from that? I may think it is a waste of time and a belief not worth investing in but against it? No.

Theism becomes a problem when individuals and organized religion clearly define what their God is, when they pretend to know what their God wants, and when the belief in God supersedes the verifiable. Once they do this they leave their God open to a bombardment of reasoning which renders their God impossible. The devil is in the details; the arch nemesis of theism. This is the type of theism I am against.

I am an atheist and I am not against theism in its entirety. I may express anti-theistic sentiments to particular gods and institutions; nevertheless, an anti-theist I am not.

The Light

There is a light you cannot see.
A blinding light called clarity.
And if you choose to close your eyes,
there comes a voice "You will die."
The light is might.
It's never wrong.
It's always right.
It sings the same songs
of triumph over all.
With all the answers to life,
united in a fictitious paradise.
This life I lived in a blinding light.
I turned it off to save my sight.

The Devil–all he ever wanted

It is recorded that the devil inflicted pain on to one man and killed ten members of his family with God's consent in order to prove that men only worshipped God because he bribed them. Not only did God put this man through a guilt trip when it seemed the devil’s plan was working, he later rewarded his faithfulness with a bribe, which only reinforced the devil’s initial accusation.

In another story a snake, which many believers teach was the devil in disguise, convinced a human to disobey God. He told the newly created human that if she disobeyed the stipulation their creator gave them, she would be like God, knowing the good and bad. She went along with it and some time later convinced her husband to disobey God's petty order as well. When God realized what happened, he became infuriated and the three of them were scolded and condemned.

All the devil really wanted was to be like his dad, to have what he had, without holding out and without the hypocrisy. But alas, to be like God is evil. It is so vile that you are banished and branded a traitor, an adversary. What does that tell you about Yahweh's character? If he is so great, how could the one angel that most resembles him be so terrible?

The devil exposed a tyrant who relied on bribes and coercion for others to love him. The devil encouraged others to use their free will. The devil is the hero of these stories.

You don’t like the spin I gave these stories? Too bad, what I did is not much different than what most people do with these allegorical stories anyway. A good sense of humour and imagination goes a long way.

Amen. :)-

Who gives a fuck? Why help Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses?

Since 2006 I have spent a considerable amount of time helping persons that have left the Jehovah's Witness organization find support. It all started with a group on MySpace called "Ex-Jehovah's Witness Recovery Group." Many of my closest friends today I met through that group, including my wife Emily. There have been three incarnations of that group due to the fact the first one was taken off from MySpace, and the second was abandoned for the third on Facebook. I also started a YouTube page called "Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses Speak Out," where I post short segments of conversations I have with Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses when my wife and I meet them at different venues. We are not as involved in these activities as much as we were in the past, but we continue to do what we can.

Believe it or not, many of us who do this have been criticized for spending our time helping others with their transition out of this high control group. I have received comments such as "Who gives a fuck?" "Why don't you just let it go?" "Why can't you respect their Religion?" So on and so forth. For all those that think it’s a waste of time to open your heart to persons that genuinely need a friend. For all those who feel it is not helpful to confide in a person that has been in your particular position. Please take a minute to read the following message addressed to my wife Emily by someone we care about very much.

“Have I ever told you how special you are to me Emily? In case I haven't...Let me explain…sweetie…

When I first discovered facebook and the exjw groups, I pretty much opened up about all the pain of my moms rejection of me after I disassociated myself…yada…yada...yada…I was really depressed...borderline suicidal, which I go through at least once a year or so.

I did not know you from Adam, and sweetie…and you picked up on it INSTANTLY....you invited me to not only come to your house...but you even offered to pick me up at the station, and said I could spend the night. My goodness Emily I coulda been a serial killer.

You just went on your vibe and were so open to me…I'll love you forever because of that sweetie!

I used to associate that kind of generosity of spirit, and selfless loving concern (EXCLUSIVELY) with the JWs!!

I seriously thought that no non JW would ever be so loving and open and generous without expecting something in return!
I know better now hon…

I thought that my exjw childhood girlfriends were sweet to me because they had known me forever! But Emily you and Ruben had never ever met me...not even on the phone!
Just want you to know that hon...

People like you make believers out of me. The kind of belief I value and cherish…the selfless goodness that comes from living a bullshit free life!”

Need I say more?

Letter to my Ex-Wife

I found my first ex-wife on Facebook and sent her a message. It was something I wanted to tell her for some time but wasn't able to since we lost all touch over five years ago. This was my message to her. It was written in Spanish and I have translated it for this blog.

Hello ____:

I am not going to send you a “friend request” nor do I expect a response. I just wanted to send you this message. I am not the same person I was, I have the same heart, but I am not the same. I have matured and recognized many things about myself and events in my life. The past is the past, and in regards to our broken marriage I recognize the errors I committed as well. Our reasons for getting married were invalid. I should’ve realized it was a bad idea to marry you from the start and not let myself be swayed by my desperation of getting married. There were many signs indicating that it was a bad idea, and because of a combination of hormones, culpability, and obligation I ignored them. I apologize; I was young and ignorant of many things. I am not excusing the way you treated me, the things you did and said hurt, it was not necessary to go about it in such a manner. However, looking back I understand your desperation and I recognize that you were young (very young) and ignorant in regards to many things as well. Not everything is black and white ____, I no longer see the world that way. I want you to know that I have no bad sentiment, nor resentment for what happened. As they say in English “We didn’t know any better.”

I live in Connecticut, not too far from my family. I have had the opportunity to build a relationship with them that I didn’t have before. I also have found love. My wife and I love each other very much and she is my best friend. I am so very happy. Your tenacity started a chain reaction that ultimately brought me to where I am today. For that a thousand thanks.

Well if you desire my door is always open to you, if you would like to say hello, I am here, if not “no problem!” As I stated in the beginning, I don’t expect a response. I hope you are happy and I desire the best for your beautiful daughter that I see on your profile picture and for David if you are still together.

Ruben Ortiz

Creator

Old paradigms have been destroyed.

Freedom is now spoken and no longer just heard.

Slowly breathing the air around me, and no longer inhaling the poison from deluded carbon based machines.

Reality becomes tangible, flexible, and not built on steps going up nowhere.

True magic exists.

Life is a canvas, and the universe is the paint. We are the artists ready to create.

I am ready. I am human and I am God.

Ruben Ortiz
10/31/08

My Son

This is the image of a poem my father wrote for me about 26 years ago. I was 8 years old and hadn't seen him in 4 years. In my blog "Julio Iglesias is not my Father." I explain the circumstances. This is what he wrote, translated to Enlgish:

My Son

It was six in the afternoon.
I just got off work.
All of a sudden my soul felt the impulse to leave go to a house not too far away.
An hour passed, the clock marked seven.
“Who is it?” Asked Jose, “It’s me Ruben.”
What a surprise, ask my wife, at this moment we thought of you.
I spoke to the one who was your woman and she told me that your son you could see.
I anxiously waited for the arrival of a piece of my heart.
The minutes passed and I grew desperate.
Come up gang, the lady has arrived and she has brought you a gift.
Let’s go up the stairs, as released children in search of a present.
I continued to wait anxiously for my boy’s arrival
He came around the corner desperately and stood by my side
He reached to me with his arms wide open
That got me emotional.
Daddy he said and with great strength he gave me a big squeeze and a kiss as big as his heart. I saw him a second time.
Daddy! He greeted me with great emotion and with a big kiss and hug.
Showing me that he loved me and how genuine his love was.
We said goodbye and my soul was left with a ray of hope.
I thought of the future and his great love.
I thought of his Mother, a woman of great valor who gave me a lovely male child.
Who I love with the bottom of my heart
Who despite his age gave me his love.

I consider this one of my most valued possessions.